A letter from Aug 5th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hey Miranda the date is currently August 4,2021 it's almost your birthday your turning 13 so I'm just telling you that JJ already left Tristan is leaving for college in a few days and soon it's just going to be you and Eddie your going to 8th grade can you believe that you always believed you were going to fail I mean you probably still will but you been through so much during 7th grade you got your heartbroken stop talking to your bestfriend you weren't doing your work you weren't paying attention in class you were a failure you didn't have no motivation but I decided that Im going to play volleyball and focus on myself for a while so I can get through this school year you are so insecure you have huge thighs you have stretch marks that are starting to become visible and you can't fit in no clothes anymore you barely eat you only eat when you have to and when you eat you feel guilty but if you don't eat you get dizzy you have no motivation for anything anymore Miranda you can't even put any energy into cooking you something or taking a shower but you still do you try and that is all that matters your room is a mess but you stop biting your nails for now we'll that's an improvement Angelica won't let you dress how you want she is controlling your life you and Ma relationship went in the trash were also not celebrating your birthday this year because you have to go to PJs wedding God I'm probably going to forget about this we saw someone on tik tok doing this so we decided to do it and also Eddie is in 11th grade and JJ has a girlfriend her name is Zarha she is nice but she is exactly like JJ I don't know what to say just that by the time you get this I hope your graduating I hope you didn't **** yourself or do self harm hey if you ever think about doing that don't do it because everyone is going to think it's your fault aless and you barely talk to each other speaking of that I hate my self I hate this person I'm living in why are we so mean I really try but I just mess up your just a mistake like Eddie said when we were little you are mistake Miranda you know that Ma didn't want you even Ma would say that right in your face she would say I want a daughter but I didn't want the daughter I have but your starting to get use to it your starting to expect that you would never be loved like you always wanted oh also I found out why Ma treats Eddie so special it's because she was always the odd one out when she was little because she was the middle child but now I'm the one being left out because of that and oh Man asked me why I don't talk to her but I don't want to tell her the real reason you know you were always the one left out the bullied one the unwanted one the only reason we would let are anger out on someone else is because you know you couldn't do it on your mom remember when Ma said you want to go live with your dad I should have said yes well at least I do sometimes oh about Pa we haven't seen him in months and when I mean months I mean months Eddie has to play every single weekend so we haven't seen him Ma said for Eddie to text him and see if we could see him during the week even if he had to work as long as we saw him but Eddie never texted him oh also tell me if greyson is cute now well if you still remember him oh and Melvin too God well I guess this is it I have nothing else to say except goodbye and thank you I love you.