A letter from Aug 2nd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're doing well, if you're seeing this congratulations, you made it. it is August 2nd, 2021, you are going through hell, you don't know if you should give up or not, if you are reading this it is because you chose to stay. I'm proud of you, so proud of you if you are continuing to be strong. I'm not so sure I am going to make it through this. Your grandma is currently dying, she probably doesn't have more than a year left. On your 16th birthday, you expected to be your last with her, but she has held strong for 8 months now, 4 more months and she gets another birthday with you. I wonder if she makes it or not. Do you miss her? I assume she has gone judging it is 5 years later and you'd be surprised if she even makes it 5 more months. You hate knowing it is nearing the end of her life, you wish you could be with her forever but she doesn't even remember your name, Lewy body dementia has taken over her entire brain, she is not the same and never will be. Are you married? You will be 21 going on 22 and you had wanted to get married younger so you could hopefully have kids at 25. If you arent married are you dating? If not that then that's ok, you're currently dating a boy, you've been dating for 7 months going on 8. He's honestly the only thing that feels like is going right in your life. You dedicated the past 3 years to make the high school soccer team and every year you don't make it and you always worked to get better. You didn't make it this year either you feel worthless and horrible and want to die. Soccer is your entire life. You also sprained your wrist at tryouts so you cant play golf or tennis or play guitar to help cope. You're stuck in your own mind that mentally destroys you. So many awful things are going on in your life right now and if you make it through then I am incredibly proud. Are you in college? Did you get into UNC? Are you playing a sport? Are you pursuing your dreams of being a software engineer or computer programmer? Do you love yourself? I have a hard time loving myself, I got cheated on almost 10 months ago and it still really hurts me even though I'm dating again. I started dating another guy 2 months after getting cheated on, I didn't want to at first, I was scared but God told me it was the right choice, and I see now that he is the reason I am still here writing this letter to you today. I hope you receive this letter, it means you made it because I am really struggling, I have been starving myself, not sleeping, isolating myself, I have no motivation. I wish you the best with whatever comes your way, I hope you're happy, that's all I ever wanted.