A letter from Jul 28th, 2021

Dear Nick, Don't know why to write a letter to you on this "write to my future self" web. Need a closure for this relationship so I guess this is a perfect place to say all things I want to tell you but there is no point for you to know or hear it anymore. How will I feel when I receive this letter 5 years later, haha, seeing how sentimental I am when a relationship just ends. Anyway, here are words i want to tell you: Nick, it has been almost 2 years since i know you. and the 3rd week after the relationship ends. I am grateful for having this chapter in my life. You are the first person to let me feel something, feel being understood, feel the safety, feel the calm. I was so frozen before met you, when you come to my life, I start to want to learn the ability to show my love and interest to people, start to want to settle down. but you are really being a jerk in the past few months. I know people are imperfect , afterall love is about two imperfect people who choose to handle challenges together after knowing the imperfection of the other. And i thought you were the one but haha you are not. I still very grateful for having this chapter in my life, knowing the feeling of being brave and putting myself out there, the excitement of seeing a person, the courage to speak up my true feelings even though knowing it would lead to an end for the situation. It is because this relationship, I know I deserve what I want. It's funny that i thought i would be pretty cool after stop contacting you because that's what i did so many times, in fact i am ******* hurt, i know it's part of the recovery process, sometimes just want to cry for no reason. saw a para saying that not every person is supposed to give your company till the end, some people just come to your life to teach you some lessons then left. the biggest lesson from this chapter is that i deserve what i want. i wonder what your future partner looks like, the same curious with what my future partner looks like. It doesn't matter anymore, still have the attraction from you but I know that i will have the same feeling again and what i want is also coming on my way. Hope you are happy and i loved you. **** it , didn't thought i would use the word "love" lol the next 3 months i will keep practising loving myself, giving myself validation, enjoying being comfortable with myself. So, this is the end of a normal love story. Bye Bye and hello Cheers, Keeno