Nerd

Dear FutureMe, Ay, you have written like 5 of these. Do I read them in the future? Probably not, but it is the thought that counts am I right. I'm tired, tired of just going through the motions of everything. School starts soon and I will be a Junior in high school, that is pretty crazy to think about. I'm scared, not of school but of the ending. The ending of everything, from friendships to school, to shows. I'm scared of ending my volleyball career because let's face it, it is too late to be able to be the athlete I have dreamed of being since freshman year. My dream is to play division 1, but I don't think that will be happening any time soon. I've worked hard but clearly, it is not hard enough because I am slowly but surely failing. Failing is a scary thing to say because it's something no one ever wants to hear. That they failed. I know my mom will be upset when I don't play D1. But at the end of the day I'm used to failing her. I'm scared, I feel like a freshman all over again going to a new school with no friends. I have a few, but over the last year and a half, I have grown accustomed to the big group. But drama happens and friendships break. I just hope I'm strong enough to make it out. I hope I'm strong enough just in general. I feel the issues I face now will be small and unimportant to the issues I will face as an adult. I was trying to figure out when I should send this out to you, what a better time then when you are supposed to be a junior in college. Hopefully I got the dates right. Also are we still in love with chris evans, and possibly a lil instagram famous?