A letter from Jul 26th, 2021

Dear FutureMe Hey it's me right now it Monday July 26 2021 and I haven't been feeling good lately, and it's not like I'm sick or anything it's just I've been feeling depressed and not wanting to deal with it anymore. I would never want to **** myself or anything but it just don't want to feel like I'm going to explode or like I'm going to do something I know I shouldn't do. I was watching a tiktok the ones I have already liked and was going through them and I saw a word the word is iypophernia it's like when your sad and stuff and that's me sad and stuff. I really miss my dad and I really just want to be with him but I want God to take me on his own turn and not me. So yeah life has been really hard and I want it to stop. I feel fat and ugly and I just want to have a perfect life like the girls in my class. I love my life I have a good relationship with God and my family but I really don't want to be here. And this summer has been one of the worst summers in my life, it is boring and I haven't hung out with any of my friends and I'm really stressed about school starting. But anyways I have a few questions do I still have tiktok and snap and Instagram, are they even still a thing. Have I gotten close with any one have I made new friends and has anyone in my grade gotten famous. Probably not on the last one but we'll see. I will be graduating was high school fun did I struggle a lot. Did I get a boyfriend if so how many please say if I did were still friends. Do I have a job that I love or am I doing it just for the money. Have I gotten closer with God and do I still say my prayers every night. And hopefully all my family is doing well and still here. Am I still wanting to go to college and if so which one. Have I been out of the country yet. Have I gotten happier than before or do I need to regain it. I know I will forget about this but I will see it in five years anyway we'll let's hope I'm still alive and going. I have so many more questions about this but let's wait and see what happens I don't want to question everything. And I decided that it won't be actually five year but close, didn't know the exact date we graduate but hopefully I'm close. And I will be writing more if these. And I forgot if covid 19 still a thing and did I ever get it. Love, Kaycee.C