A letter from Jul 18th, 2021

Dear Mae/Bee/Nicolas, How are we doing sugar? I can tell you now that I am struggling. The depression sometimes feels so heavy that I can't breathe right, and I want to break down and sob but I can't. I haven't let myself cry in so long. The anxiety isn't any better, the smallest things can send me spiraling in a very quick corkscrew down into the darkest pits of despair. But I'm not allowed to show this because I need to be the rock for the rest of my friends I need to let them vent to me when in all actuality I just need to be held and be told that it'll all be alright. But that ain't happening anytime soon. Can you tell me that it gets better? That the pain fades and I don't feel like I'm carrying a bag of bricks on my heart? Do we have someone who will hold us? Someone that'll help us pick up the pieces if we fall apart? If so go and give them the biggest hug in the world, and for the love of God don't let them go. We need someone too.