A letter from Jul 15th, 2021

hello its me again id like to just vent again because i really feel ****** about myself right now and i feel like the only way to "escape" is by suicide which is what i've been trying to avoid all these years but the thought keeps coming back and i don't know what to do anymore i just feel so lost and alone with nobody to talk to i don't even feel like my own mother cares for me anymore and its so selfish of me to think because she gives me EVERYTHING i have but i still feel like she just doesn't give a **** about me and that shes just super tired of my ********. i truly hate this mindset that i have right now but i just cant escape it at all it just feels like my whole purpose in living is just gone like i have nothing to do here but for the sake of my family and friends i will not **** myself but it feels like i'm just living to keep them happy and not actually living for myself its truly frustrating and i wish i could just live like every other kids that are happy and go lucky right now playing games and ****, I want to have that childhood. but i guess its too late now im almost becoming a teen so i guess my time is up. i just wish i could've made my childhood a bit more pleasant to remember but i guess things don't always work out how you want them to, right? i guess all i can do for now is cry and suck it up for a bit longer. -your 12 year old self, katelyn.