A letter from Jul 14th, 2021

Dear 23 year-old me, I'm actually writing this a day after your 18th birthday- I've been putting off doing this since you graduated high school on May 30, 2021. Today must be your 23rd birthday (if this website is actually reliable). Just thinking about where you could be makes me nervous. I think you'd be in Thuwal by now, at KAUST. Are you currently in your last semester of your M.s? I want to hear about everything you've done. What GPA did you graduate Berkeley with? Where did you do your enrichment opportunities/internships at? Are you still committed to Bioscience? Things at home are suffocating as ever. I hope you're not still struggling with guilt and shame all the time. I'm already tired of the random passing threats and strange hostility/distrust everyone seems to have for me. But, did you meet someone new? I hope it's someone better than my usual. I hope I'm more beautiful than ever. And our friends? Particularly Layann, Abeeha, and Reem. Maybe even Mallak. Is Misty still there? She'd be a little over 13 if she's still alive for your 23rd. I hope you're not still burning up inside out. I don't know what else to write or how to be sentimental. I hope you're accomplished and assertive. I don't think you can get rid of that selfish image everyone seems to have of you. Don't hesitate to yell at Mom if you want to refuse marriage. Your life is your life, I hope you don't forget that. I also hope you still like BTS? Did Mashrou' Leila release a new album? Thank you for where we are right now. You'll be fine. Everyday must feel like the worst time but I'm still here after five long years. See you later