A letter from Jul 3rd, 2021

Dear Zaara, How are you? It's currently 5:00 a.m. in the morning right now. I couldn't sleep and I saw a TikTok about this website. Was slightly curious. Anywho, what are you doing now? Have you found someone to love? How's Saniah? Oh, what profession did you take? I hope it's acting. You know how much we love acting. Maybe singing? I'm too in my thoughts, I don't wanna live a normal boring life. Please, be better. Change, even if you feel comfortable like this. There's always room for growth. You saw that acting class a few days ago? Take it. Think of your own happiness. And we both know our happiness is not being married at 21 and having a dozen kids. I hope your mental health is fine, too. I'm facing through weird phases, surely you've worked that out. BTS is now overtaking my life! Haha, I wonder if we ever get to meet them? I hope so....Also, about Irdina, Ainil and Aisyah. How are they? Are you still in touch? Our sisters? Are they well? I know you have a lot on your plate. I know you hide stuff from most people, but it's fine. You're doing fine. As long as you get through this part of life, you'll feel like you can conquer the world! Mommy and Daddy are distant lately though...I hope you tell them you love them. I just don't have the guts to. I love them so much, even if I feel so useless sometimes. I feel so useless sometimes that I cry thinking about myself. I act all high and mighty when in reality, I cry. I cry and I cry and I cry until I don't. It's so hard...to cry and to not. I hope you don't cry as much. I hope you've found your worth. I need you to live. For the next 5 years, just live. Okay? Tell Saniah you appreciate her for being here with you. Tell Iris and Hani you love them so much and that you're sorry you didn't spare much time with them. Spend time with them. Hani, especially. She needs you. Iris needs you. Tell Mommy and Daddy you're sorry for being so worthless all the time. It hurts, I know. To live, I mean. But what is life without a little hurting? I hope you love yourself. Please love yourself. Cause I can't seem to. Best of luck.