A letter from Jul 1st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I want the kind of love that keeps me up at night because sleeping feels like a waste of time being away from them. I want the kind of love where I can stare at them in pure admiration from across the room. I look up at them and I'm so proud of who they are, how they carry themselves, how they socialize with others, how they support me in public. I want to look at them and have to hide a smirk because I know how attracted to them I am and what will happen the moment we get home. I want the kind of love that feels like we really are partners in crime. It's naughty and secretive and allusive and exciting. I want the kind of love that makes me want to kiss them all the time. And touch them all the time. And my skin lights up when they drag one finger across it. I want to be touching each other constantly, ******** and non-********. I want it to be real. I don't want to put up a front and be extra ****** or touchy because I think that's what they want. I want my skin to be magnetized to their's. I want it to feel like keeping myself away from them is torture. I want to have *** with them because I physically need to be as close as possible. I don't want to turn myself into anyone's dream girl. I just want to be the dream girl without faking something else. I want the kind of love that makes all the love songs make sense. I want the kind of love that you can't hide on your face. A real, genuine smile that escapes your lips constantly around them. I want the kind of love that makes me feel like I'm chasing something I want-- maybe for the first time. I want the kind of love that feels like an hourglass with an unspecified amount of time. It should feel secure but it should also feel exciting and too good to be true. I want to hold onto every single second I have with them. I want the kind of love that makes me want to tell anyone who will listen about them. I want the kind of love that makes me not be okay with dying. Right now I honestly am not scared of ***** because I've lived and done what I've wanted to. I want the kind of love that makes me need every minute I can get with them and dying isn't an option anymore.