A letter from Jun 20th, 2021

Yo waddup ***** Machine, I have 3 things I want to tell you. Number 1; I want you to know that I won't tolerate failure. If you don't own a successful business about selling used coffee mugs by the time this email reaches to you, you are dead to me. Number 2; Scientists has been suspecting that aliens will invade planet earth and they need a savior to help them. This email is made to remind you of your mission. On the 17th of September 2026, the aliens will send agents to earth. Don't ask why I know this, I just do. A week before the event takes place, I need you to fly to japan and meet Tsun Tzu's successor. Tell him that the bunny has entered Alaska, (That's a code word that means aliens are incomming). He will give you an address where all the necessary weapons are for taking out the aliens. I trust you Deaty Machine. I trust that you can save humanity from the terrors that lie ahead. Godspees, you magnificent *******. Number 4; My hair is luscious and beautiful, and it catches the wind perfectly!!!