A letter from Jun 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hi! idk how to start this, but I just felt like sending a future letter so I'm probably just gonna ramble the whole time. You probably won't mind because you're me, so I'm sure you understand that I struggle with writing things that sound good. Anyway, right now I'm living at home with no job, and it sucks ***. Having a job sucks too, though, so there's really no winning. i "quit" my job at the packhouse because it made me want to die, also I saved up enough to get my bike which is what I got the job for in the first place. I didn't really officially quit though, I just stopped turning up. Which was probably an evil thing to do, but I don't care. I feel pretty lost and hopeless right now. I don't have any dreams or goals. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow, next week, next year, or ever. It sucks. I want to be able to work towards something, but I don't even know what I want. Maybe I want to move back to Auckland. I know I should get another job to pay for my bike and give me something to do, but I don't want to. I will anyway, though. I guess that's life. You have to do things you hate just because you have to, and there's no other way. Now Ill brainstorm some ideas about what I want for future me to entertain us. I want to be really good at riding my motorbike, and maybe ill have a bigger, cooler bike. I want good friends that I hang out with regularly. I want my own place that I can have to myself to live in. I want to be able to get up and do tasks like chores or things I enjoy without it being a massive effort. I want to have a job that I don't hate, and if I'm really lucky ill enjoy it. Maybe I sell things I make or something like that, that would be really cool. If I have a partner, I want to have a really healthy and good relationship with them. If you don't have many or even any of these things, don't stress, I don't expect anything from you. I'm just glad you're still kicking. Life can be a ***** sometimes; we both know that. It's important to accept that life will always be a *****; that's okay, that's life. We just have to remember that there's good times too, no matter how long your bad times last, eventually there will be something that comes that will be super awesome. I've been waiting a while now for my super awesome thing. Come to peace with where you are now, do some journalling (i know there's a high chance that you still like that), watch a sad movie, and maybe write a letter to your future self. Writing this letter has made me feel a little better; it's more for me than you. I wonder what "casual jams" playlist number you're up to now. It would be cool if you still made those lol. I'm listening to casual jams 4 right now; Triple Knot by Melanie just came on. I wonder how big they are now; I'm sure they're going to blow up. Currently, they have 402 monthly listeners on Spotify. Anyways Idk what else to say, so I might end it there. I'll find an inspirational quote to leave you with. "To not dance when you had the health and could hear the music could be the biggest regret of your life." With love, Lily.