A letter from Jun 17th, 2021

Dear future 19-year-old me, by the time you receive this letter, you would have hopefully passed high school (kinda doubt it considering how mentally stupid we are) and probably be in college right now. I don't know how your feeling about life right now but right now I hate my life with a passion, basically more than anything. Especially considering the arguments and friendship problems with my boy best friend. but anyway I'll get to the point. I have some advice for you on life and people. sometimes, it’s not the song that makes you emotional, it’s the people and things that come to your mind when you hear it. It’s very easy to hurt someone and then say “sorry”. But it’s really difficult to get hurt and say “I’m fine”. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you the best memories ever. You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, everything’s fine! Then when you turned around a tear rolled down my cheek and I whispered to myself.. everything is not fine. Every heart has a pain. Only the way of expressing it is different. Fools hide it in their eyes while the brilliant hide it in their smile. Don’t give a special place to anyone in your heart. It’s easy to give that place, but it hurts more when they don’t know the value of that place. Sometimes, you need to step outside. Get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be. Everything gets better once you know how to deal with your pain. Everyone wants to be happy. No one wants to be sad and in pain. But you can’t make a rainbow without rain. Living without you is hard; even taking a single breath feels like too much effort. The worst battle is the one that goes between your heart and your mind. You never know which one to listen to.. If you can’t take the time to see me while I’m alive then don’t stand near my grave crying when I’m gone. Never try to hide your secrets from a person who can read your eyes. Because the one who reads your eyes is always an expert in reading your heart. Emotional pain is the worst because physical pain can heal. But emotional pain will forever be there. It’s very easy to say “I’m busy” when someone needs you, but it’s very painful to hear “I’m busy” when you need someone. Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again.. skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. Silence speaks very loudly but it’s amazing how many people don’t take the time to listen. A heart dies when it’s unable to share its feelings, but a heart ***** itself when another heart doesn’t understand its feelings.