A letter from Jun 11th, 2021

Dear...older me, This year was crazy. It was..an experience, really. I went through so much, through good and bad. Overall it was a rollercoaster. I changed quite a bit, I went from laid back, to social, I became ambiguous, indecisive and impulsive, I can’t say I changed for the better, I’m not proud of who I am, but if I look on the bright side, I don’t relapse as much as I used to, I use my coping skills and, calm down faster than I used to, but whenever I do get worked up, I turn into a completely different person, a monster maybe. I have many internet friends, Atlas(He/They), Henry (He/Xe/Them), Kat (She/Her), and more, but those three are the best, they’re the sweetest people I know, they’re funny and always find a way to make me laugh, I think that the friends you meet online, should be cherished, because at some point you’ll forget about them, or not. You never know. My friend Kyeran (He/Him) is really cool too, we hang out during social studies and he’s really fun to hang out with, hopefully I’ll still know him in the future. He’s an amazing person. I lost love for my favorite things a while ago, I don't enjoy drawing and painting as much as I used to. From time to time I make small doodles, but not full art pieces like before. My favorite color, I’d say anything pastel, reddish shade. Grey colors, those make me feel at ease, I usually like dark clothing, it suits me more. I also enjoy ELA, I’ve always liked writing stories, most are action, mafia themes, ****** mysteries, things such as that. I feel like writing helps me drain out my brain a bit, I develop so many ideas for stories, and just jot them down in a notebook, or my phone. I don’t usually think about the future, I get overwhelmed, but hopefully I can knock some sense into myself and stop worrying about negative outcomes, and just focus on the good things. Maybe i’ll become less aggressive. More calm, I just need to be calm. I’m looking forward to meeting back up with my friends though, hopefully next year won’t be too difficult. Stay away from trouble. Be confident, don’t feel like you’re obligated to fix everything. It just causes more stress, for you and others.