A letter from Jun 8th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, You were miserable on 8th June 2021. You had been for a while (10months to be specific.) College just got over. Pandemic hit and you broke up with your first love and he blamed you for taking drugs. You were studying for a very prestigious exam. It was hard to concentrate but you were trying after a long time and that was commendable. You would tear up a few times everyday but you kept going. You tagged yourself as a worthless person but gave yourself 5 years. 5 years to turn your life around. So... I hope you have become an officer. I hope you have 2 dogs. I hope you wear heels now. I hope you smile at little things throughout the day. I hope you exercise. I hope you go out. I hope you breathe better. I hope you go off to sleep with a dry pillow. I hope there’s love around you. I would want that love to be of a guy but regardless, any love that gives you hope is good enough. You must realise that by now. I hope you keep long hair now. Everyday in the evening I hope you shout at Gama boys for playing with your flowers. I hope they run into your legs and make you fall with lots of laughter. Don’t limit yourself. If there is anything you want to do, you do it! There is absolutely nothing that you can’t do. I know you. I have since 21 years. What you are is capable. And capable is good enough. Despite all this, I’m sorry if you are still sad. I’m sorry if you are still breathing barely. I’m sorry if your depression took better of your accomplishments. I’m sorry if the sky is still blue. You did your best. I know you did. And I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than anything in the world. So, if it’s still hard. Step off. You don’t have to continue anymore. 5 years were more than enough. It’s okay to quit. Make sure to provide for Gama boys before you go for good. Take a one way ticket. Go and live somewhere else or go and end somewhere else. It’s okay to not continue. I’m sorry if my words hurt but once, we both shared these. If you still want to walk. Give yourself another 5 years. And if you are happy now, give yourself another set of years. Either way you deserve all the time. To love or to grieve. You deserve it all. You do. With love, Your 21 years old self