A letter from Jun 7th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hey! I was just rereading that letter like this one that we had to do for Jacob's senior year, and thought I should do one that didn't count towards a grade. Bring out my "true self" and all that. Even then, rereading what I wrote only two years ago is mind boggling. So much has changed in only two years. Lil baby senior me didn't know a full-on pandemic would be heading her way, cutting it all short, and ruining just so many things. But hey, like with every bad experience, it's still something we got to experience. Like when we dislocated our knee. Sorry, that probably brought up more bad memories. Just seeing how "perfect" I was trying to be was insane. I think Jacob's told us he was going to be reading our letters, which is why I didn't want to give too much away. But ****, even then, it really felt like what I was writing was so true for high school senior me. I can so perfectly remember not letting myself even think that I was bi. OH HEY HAPPY PRIDE MONTH BABES, that's still a thing in the future right? It better be. And you're still bi right? I mean, not like you had much of a choice am I right, but hey maybe we changed labels, who knows. Seeing how much I was trying to play the "perfect Christian" honestly was sickening. I would say I'm still religious, but just don't have the same feelings I did before. It's not a bad change, at least I don't think it is. I was so ready to become the submissive wife, bearing children because she had to not because she wanted to, and just go along with whatever her husband said. I think I've just become independent in my religion. I refuse to grovel at a mans feet, jumping at his beck and call. More to show why we're *** huh? I still believe in God, and love Him. Future me? I don't know what you've decided, but I know it will be because you believe it's the best for us. I wonder if we've changed our minds on the whole baby thing. REMEMBER HOW MUCH MONEY WE COULD SAVE IF WE DIDN'T HAVE A BABY! Hey, if we've changed our minds, more power to us, but I highly doubt we have lol. Well I've put this thing to send to you 5 years from now, so hey, did you manage to graduate uni? I know we can pull it off, I just hope we got high honors like we hoped we would. And doesn't that mean we're in the Navy? Maybe stuff is in the works to prepare me going into the Navy, who knows. I hope we get into a good grad school of our choosing, hopefully in California, but I understand if it's changed to something else. California was a good home to us in middle school and high school, I think it can be a good home again if we want it to be. We can definitely be our more truer self there. Speaking of that, have we come out to the family? I don't blame you if we haven't. I'm pretty sure I'm going to come out to Iona, but mum, dad, and Kaelan are a whole other ball park. We made the deal that we would if we fell in love with a beautiful woman. I wonder if you've managed to pull that off. For some reason I really want to remind you of our first girl-crush; Lydia ***. As of right now, I'm worried I've really messed things up with her. I didn't do anything bad, but we just never talk, and I feel I've come off as possessive. I mean, maybe sophomore year will prove to be as magical as everyone says it is. She is just right next door. I understand if it didn't though. Maybe you managed to fall in love with a different girl. Or a man; I keep forgetting the whole bi thing. For some reason I really want our first love to be with a woman; just sounds a lot more magical. Hope you pulled that off kid. ALSO FOR CHRIST SAKE, DON'T KEEP PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY WITH THE EXCUSE THAT YOU SHOULD FOCUS ON SCHOOL. I mean, we did that to men who were creeps, so, understandable. Plays back to the whole I want our first love to be a woman. But Jesus, I hope you've gotten something after writing this. It's sad at this point. 19, and still haven't experienced my first kiss. Christ if we haven't had that at 25, call up a friend right now, and just ask them to kiss you. Desperate times call for desperate measures. But hey, if we did get that first kiss, go us!! I want us to be the realest person we can be everyday. I know we have to come out some time in the future, and I hope we have now, but it's going to **** you if you hide for forever. Bi means 50/50, there's only a 50% chance you don't tell them. And even then, maybe it's not 50/50, but 100/100. We shouldn't have to hide who we love. It's going to hurt like hell, maybe it already is. But we can and will get through it. We've gotten through so much already. They just need time. They still love you, and they always will, despite the pain. Well, I don't really have much else to say. I hope you've managed to do some crazy things Future Bri, and you're living a life full of no regrets. You control the reigns babes, **** whatever anyone else may think. This is your show, you are the main character. Act like it. Love you. Always have, always will. From your's truly.