A letter from Jun 3rd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I set the time for five years because I'm really hoping we made it that long. I hope i'll get to see you. Lets' do a rundown: How many tats do we have? I have 3. Piercings? I have 9. Do we have a pet? How's Nana doing? Amari? Luna and Diogee? How's Daddy? How's mom, does she feel like one yet? I hope so. I wish I had something profound to say, that I had goals to wish you well on, or even that you're happily married. But if I know you how I think I do then we both know the only thing I want for you is to be happy. I know life gets hard and I know it isn't all sunshine and fairytales but I hope the memories make you feel like it was pretty **** close. I hope you're still full of light and love, that you found somewhere to put all that passion; even if that means it all went to yourself. You're worth it all. I'm so proud of you. I know that you wanted to quit. I know it felt like there was no way out and it was always dark. But I also know you loved the stars, how else are we to appreciate constellations if not in the night sky? How else are we supposed to appreciate the light if not in the dark? I know there are things that now, at nineteen, we never thought possible. I hope you fell in love and it made you feel good. No, I hope it took you by the hand and spun you around the kitchen at three in the morning, that it held you when you couldn't hold yourself, and listened to you talk because it knew you've never truly been heard before. I hope it took you on adventures and made you feel infinite. I hope it made you happy, because you deserve so much. But, in the even that that love left. I hope you cried and sobbed because how else are we to measure love if not by the pain of its absence? I hope it hurt because then I'd know it was a **** good kind of love. You deserve a once in a life time, a ground breaking and heart crushing once in a lifetime love. And if nobody was worthy of it, I hope you gave it me. To you. If you ever need a reminder of how far we've come I'll give you a run down. You wrote this on June 3, 2021 at nineteen years old listening to "Talk to me" by ZAYN. I just dropped our first car off at the shop so it's list of problems could be tackled and I missed therapy today. Currently we are struggling with going back to college and I'm scared. Financially, it's not the best and emotionally its even worse. But I'm here, and trying. I'm still trying. I want to keep going so that I see when this letter reaches us. Hopefully we're somewhere we love. I wont list all the things I expect from you because in the event that we don't have it I want you to know it's okay. No matter where life takes us; if we are happy, healthy, and safe that's good enough for me. I hope I'm good enough for you. I hope you know how proud I am you were created. I hope you take whatever you want from the world and know you deserve to have it. I hope you're happy, because like Harry Styles once stated: If you're happy doing what you're doing, nobody can tell you that you're not successful. So I hope you're successful. Did you ever find a place that felt like home? I know we never felt safe even in our own so I really hope you've found somewhere that feels like you. I hope at the end of the day you can go home and mean it, even if that means going back to yourself. I hope your life is so full. And if I leave you with nothing else, I want you to know that full does not mean one thing. Fill it with passion, do what you love despite other’s opinions. Fill it with peace, take care of your mental health and feed your soul so you lose it. Fill it with color, be loud and proud. Do not go quietly, make waves. **** it, make a hurricane, if you want because YOU CAN. It's the world the according to you. Eat ice cream for breakfast and dance around the house to the music you love, because you can. Be made of lightning, be an avalanche daring someone to stop her, be a rolling ball of butcher knives, but most importantly be whatever you want. Be you, authentically and unapologetically. It's what you born to do. So let's have another toast to the girl almighty! I love you endlessly for all you are, despite what you've been on the path to who you will be. See you soon. Muah!! CJ (06/03/2021) oh i almost forgot: call your friends tell them you love them.