A letter from Jun 2nd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hey. It’s me. It is currently June 2, 2021. It’s 2:38 am right now. I’m really nervous on going back to school today. Just seeing people, like my teachers, and kids from a year ago. I’m might see Riley today which is cool but nerve racking at the same time. Don’t even get me started about Gavin. If we see each other would we say something? Would I acknowledge him? Will my teachers recognize me and if not how will I introduce myself? Guess i’ll know the answers in a few hours. I also forgot to email Ms.Mills about my sketchbook. I don’t want to show up to class unprepared but it’s too late. I’ll email her in the morning so she won’t be surprised. I’m glad we don’t have lunch. I wouldn’t know what to do. We only have two more weeks until school is officially over so I think I can manage. So for the next two weeks I need to be on my A game. My school already exempt all my missing assignments so there’s no excuse on why I should have any missing assignments anymore. Well enough of school. Let’s talk about how the family is doing. Well Shontae delivered the baby. Prodigy sent me a picture of what he looks like. It’s hard to tell with newborns on who looks like who. Anyway, we’re not talking. Probably anytime soon. I don’t miss her, I thought I would but I don’t . I don’t know if she cares about me which is fine. I rather not have a relationship with her anyway. She’s just someone I once knew. Well i’m sure you will never forget what happened on May 26, 2020. I’ll just refresh your memory. You told the school about why you haven’t been doing your school work or showing up for class. Your gym teacher, Miss Mailahn, was concerned for your well-being so she contacted a staff. The staff emailed you and that’s when you responded with your reasonings. Later that day, your school therapist wanted to talk about what has been going on and why haven’t you been feeling well. Especially since you missed a few sessions. She asked a personal question and you responded with you did have suicidal thoughts. Anyway, they (the therapist and this other lady) wanted to talk to Daddy about your mental health and he FLIPPED. Yelled at you, called you names, saying stuff like you’re doing all this for attention. Basically bringing you down even more than you expected. He told you to go to your room and hung up on the school. They called the cops and boom your in the hospital for hours doing blood test and talking to a therapist on maybe going into a facility. All because you wanted to improve your grades and tell the school the truth. That you’re depressed. Did I mention you tried to take your life that night? Anyway, It’s a lot going on right now. I just hope you’re ok. Your gonna get this email in five years. I hope all this, all that I’m telling you will give you insight on what you were going through. I hope that you’re happy. I wish I could imagine you living right now but I can’t . If you’re reading this that means you made it this far. That you didn’t **** yourself. Trinity I just want to be happy. That’s all. Happy with friends. People that genuinely care about me. I want a relationship with God and Jesus. I want to go into a career that I love. Life right now is not the best. I hope that the statement, “It gets better,” is true. It’s 3:09 am. I should go to sleep. I’m listening to Godspeed in the cover of James Blake right now. I just changed the song to Anchor by Nova Amor. Do you still listen to sad music while you sleep? I can’t imagine not doing it. It’s crazy that you’ll see this when your 22. I wonder if you’re still a virgin lol. Can’t imagine you actually doing it. I mean you masturbated and sent nudes but that’s not the same thing. You still haven’t even had your first kiss yet or even hugged a boy. Your so innocent it’s sad yet refreshing. Knowing most people are “grown” these days. Don’t worry, no matter how horny you are .. your not gonna give it up to just anyone. Even though in the past you thought about it. I wish I could talk to you forever. This is actually therapeutic. Knowing that maybe your alive and happy and reading this. Ok , it’s 3:16 and I got to get up in three hours. My choice though. I need to make sure I’m cute for my first day of school “in person” today. Oh the state said we don’t have to wear our masks anymore even though it’s still suggested. We still have to wear it in school though. Alright Trinity. I hope that you make it. I don’t even see myself alive in a year.. 5 years is definitely pushing it lol. I don’t want to say goodbye, so see you around. I love you. I love you so much. -Trinity (Ps I hope you found your somebody)