A letter from May 28th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, As of right now, I'm very close to being done with high school. Quarantine had hit me pretty hard because I didn't expect the rest of high school to end like this. My grades were average before and I feel like it's gotten worse because I have the opportunity to rest and it's gotten me lazy. Three words I would use to describe myself are reserved, lazy, and tired. I say this because I don't seem to care much about what goes on around me, and I'm too tired to care for it. I don't really have anyone to look up to, other than people on the internet. I love to watch Markiplier, Pewdiepie and more. I feel more comfortable watching them than being near my own family. They're big influences and taught me a lot. I guess I look at life normally. I don't know how to really answer those questions. I just do what makes me happy. I've been playing video games like Persona 5 Striker, and it's a fun game for me. I'm always in my room and I don't have anyone to speak to when I'm home so it's fun to have a game to give you company. Something I think is important is to always remind yourself that you are independent and strong. Keep people who support you around you, and having people who bring you down for their own ego, isn't gonna help you. Don't allow anyone to hurt you. My only true dream is to someday become independent. Financially, mentally, and physically. I never had any real goals in high school. I had to go through a process to develop my goals. I've never had a dream job and the only thing I know how to do is art. I was very unsure about having a career and the idea of “settling down” sounded so boring. So I have decided to become a tattoo artist, and if that doesn't work out then I guess in the future I'll find something to work with. The more I looked into it I realized being a tattoo artist isn't going to be easy, but then again no job is easy to obtain. I also liked how I don't exactly need to much college experience to have this career. I've also made a back up plan, as maybe a bartender. I still don't have a strong reason as to why, but I like the idea of entertaining people. If I had 3 wishes I'd wish I could live with my boyfriend as naive as that sounds, and to improve my art skills,and to always be financially stable. I have no timestamp for these goals. I just hope one day I get it done and be happy. I know I might sound cliche but I hope we are still together, because he is my motivation to work so hard and to get a stable life with him. But even without him I will still aim to be what I want. I don't like questions when they ask where I'd be a year from now. It makes me feel like life is constantly a plan and you're supposed to know what to do. It ruins the fun in life, because you're not supposed to know what goes on later. I don't really care about the "memorable" moments in life like prom, or just the teenage years in general. I don't know what that says about me, I could just be sounding like an edgy teen right now but it's what I believe. I don't miss a lot about my old self, I used to be a very ignorant person, and was mentally weak. I like where I'm at, and I'm proud of myself for how far I've come as a person. The most I hope to have in 5 years is to be alive, healthy, and happy. I'm sure I won't get everything done, I have a whole life ahead of me. I have no real expectations. And I'll keep reminding myself that there is no rush in life, just go with the flow. If I ever read this later on, I hope this letter reminds you of the goals you wanted to achieve, and if you ever did reach your goals, I ask you to look back and appreciate the journey you went through, as corny as that sounds. Take care of yourself. Sincerely, Your Past Self Ps. Happy Birthday