A letter from May 27th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hello I think you are 22 by now , wow you're old now haha , I wonder if there is any good new 🤭. 17 , my BAC degree is one year From now , I still can't feel it. Anyway , I'm writing this today because I have aloooot to say , and you know , you really know that have no one to talk to , I hate the fact of letting people know my feelings and worries . It scares me ! I've been feeling ugly for a long time now , do u still feel the same about yourself ? Did you start wearing makeup and taking care of yourself ? One of my friends pointed out my noice bump , and I get all uncomfortable and irritated around people . My mom pointed out my gummy smile and my small teeth and how I should close my mouth when laughing , and can't laugh freely anymore , that one actually hurts haha CUZ one of my class mates took a picture of my side profile while laughing , and made a screenlock for fun , I didn't say anything , but I overthinked it that night . I'm trying hard to gain weight , one of my relatives Said last month that I'm so slim that only my eyes are notable in my whole face , but I stopped caring about slim shaming a long time ago ... I know these are unhealthy thoughts , but they're my insecurities , and there alot more of this **** , but this how I feel , When one of my friends complaim me , I can't help but to think of they're laying because I'm their friend . Also , this is this thing I can't stop reading , it's sucks , I'm guilty I should stop , Let's get to the good new , from your part Did you memorize the Quarn before 20 ? I really hope so , are u done with college or did I made a dump choice that needs more than 5 years of studying . Do your best anyway . Are still doing that small business thing ? It helps me get some masirga this days hahaha . Do you still love skies , books and calligraphy ??? Wissal ,Dunia ,Farah meriem w meriem , Hadil serine .. how many of your friends do you still I touch till now ? I should get going , my exam are twp days From now . Dear future me , I really hope you're doing okey and trying your best , be strong ! Make this insecure version of me proud!!!!!!