A letter from May 26th, 2021

Dear Future Me, I honestly never thought that I would graduate from high school and not only that but even get to go to a college well a community college but I’ll work my way up to a university. High School was not easy, it was almost the worst but some friends made it fun. I was never mentally stable but I kind of had to be because I was supposed to be the “happy” one in the group or at least the positive friend. I was bullied left and right but I was the bad person, even a teacher bullied me for my appearance. He compared me to another student, basically saying the student was better than I was when it came to appearance. It hurts a lot but it's tough that I get use to it, being bullied for the same thing almost all the time, it hurts but what else is new. I wanted to transfer school but my mom didn’t want to because it was a “lot” of paperwork, I probably could have done it myself like everything else, I guess I have almost enough food and at least a roof over my head and clothes but as a parent that’s mandatory, if someone’s going to have kids then they need to take care of the kid, maybe I had clothes and school supplies but I never had emotional support when I needed it yet I’m the problem, my mom was always so quick to assume things and says things that aren't true, and gossip about me to her friends saying I'm the problem, what a great role model, right? Well honestly not a role model, all I had was music. Apparently, I’m happy when I get what I want but then I disrespect that person but that’s between me and my mom, she angers me very much, I can’t wait to move out, and yeah once I'm 18 I'll be out the door, here’s the funny thing, one of her friends said that once I move out im going to think “ooh my mom was right” and that I’ll apologize to her, but for what? Being mentally unstable? Sorry I was trying my best? So like I said earlier, my mom gossiped about me to her friends. My mom and I had an argument and she said once I'm 18 then I’m getting kicked out but she really thought it was her choice to kick me out? I’ve been wanting to move out since I was in 8th grade but now I'm almost out of my 12th grade, my mom is toxic!! Never made life easier for me. I forgot who but I think one of my tia’s were telling me that my mom was talking about how my grandma, which would be my moms, mom, kicked out my mom because she was pregnant with me and I guess saying that I made life hell for her, but my mom being a hypocrite kicking me out, at least I didn’t get pregnant. I never really trusted my mom which is sad on her terms because she’ll go and tell someone else. My mom doesn’t know who I am because how can she know who I am if I barely know who I am, at least my dad knew when I upset but I did lie and say that I was okay when I wasn’t, my dad wasn’t physically here because he was with his second family but he knew my emotions. I always had music and youtube to help me up when I was down, I’m grateful for that. There was a point and time in my life where I physically felt my heart slowly breaking and it was a pretty crazy experience, I’ve also always had chest pains. I'll probably die of a heart attack or stroke because of how stressed I get. Anyways, my future self is finally successful. My grandparents helped me out a lot. I consider them to be more of my parents than my actual parents, but I also have my tia’s that were always there for me and my sister I guess trying to be supportive in her own way. My mom said I was an ungrateful child, but maybe she just wants people to think that about me so that people feel bad for her or something. I was depressed, but I'm okay now but I had myself to bring me up and of course music and youtube. My reason or motivation to pass my classes my senior year was so that I wouldn't stay at Rosemead high school any longer. I didn’t want to be here but I'm forced to be at this school. I had many bad memories and I can’t even remember the good memories. My motivation to go to college is that I want to prove my mom wrong. She said negative things about my future which sucked just because her life’s horrible doesn’t mean my life will be horrible. And when I become successful, rich, and famous I’ll probably give my mom $10,000 and say thanks for having me and then never talk to her again or something. I think I’ll put my mom in a senior center once she’s like 60 though. I pushed myself up because of all the negative energy I was getting from my mom. I'm pretty sure that’s not a good thing but in a way it’s good. Welp, I hope we’ll be successful, rich, famous, and skinny. Ooh last but definitely not least, have you married Cole Robert Brock (Colby Brock) yet?? Youtuber, future husband. Are we also still binge-watching Grey's Anatomy?? - Nadia N. H