A letter from May 26th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, First of all, I hope you are happy. I hope you are treating yourself right. I hope you are still exercising and eating healthily. I hope you are eating chocolates and cakes too because you deserve them. I hope you are taking your medication and/or you started therapy and are fighting the demons inside your head. I hope you are being a good friend, daughter, and girlfriend. I hope you finished your studies and you are doing something with your life that you enjoy and that sustains you. I really really do hope that you sorted your teeth out, are working towards having your feet not hurt as much, went for the genetics testing and went for a skin cancer check. I hope your potential diabetes didn't turn out to be diabetes and that it was a wake-up call for you to do something. I hope you are enjoying life! For me, it's very up and down. Coronavirus, lockdown, being away from friends and school for so long is taking a toll on me. But I have something to look forward to - you. The happier, healthier you. I really do hope that you adopted that ****** dog and you have T and L living with you! And that you are giving them great food, play with them and enjoy their presence - they won't be there forever. I hope that you donated hair (maybe even more than once!) gave back to the world! Did you travel? Did you finally visit Sweden? Did you take your mom to the Netherlands for the tulip festival? Are you being a better sister? Are you in touch with your siblings often enough and do you take the time to be with them? Are you taking R on dates? Are you and R still even together? I would hope so. You know, thinking about you makes me also scared. The future is very unknown and I worry that I put too much on you. Too much pressure for your life to be better than mine is now. What is your relationship like with your dad? Are you out to him yet? Will you ever be? Do you still feel like you wouldn't be able to handle it? Is *** marriage finally legal where you live? Are you engaged? Or even married? How many tattoos do you have now? Hopefully, more than I do! Did you get the ****** reduction? I hope that life is good. Life is nice as well, but I am not happy with myself now. Not much anyway. I am doing my best to change that. Every day I am making small strides to be a better person. To like me more - am I there yet? Am I at peace with who I am and what I look like? Have I lost the weight that I need to be healthy? To move myself out of cancer risk? But most importantly - are you happy? Because at the end of the day, that's what I think is the most important - is it still important? I love you. I try to love myself, but I want you to know that I love you. Yours, S