A letter from May 24th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, In five years I hope you're happy. That's something we all look for and maybe it is kind of sad. We all want to be happy and we write to the future us in hopes that in the future we are happy. But I guess that's good, as long as you still have hopes to feel happy, or to at least feel better then its okay. I was going to write letters for when my life ends to those who mean the world to me, but I didn't. I wont. Not today or tomorrow or hopefully ever. I want to be here, I don't want my last words to be in a letter that people will find. I want to be right next to my loved ones and say my last words to them. I don't want my last words to be how sad I was and that it was nobody's fault but mine. I know somebody will blame themselves for my selfish acts, but I cant help but think about how much I want that. To commit one last act for myself. I just don't think this is worth it anymore, but maybe when I read this in the future I'll be embarrassed to have even thought of something like that. That's what I hope for at least. Be good.