A letter from May 20th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Why life had to be so fcking bull$h!t? How do I **** myself without actually ******* it ? Actually I can end mylife by jumping off the bridge, it only took 1 minute to go to the bridge. I already have enough strength to do that. I have no hesitation. But ending mylife without achieving my goals is jst a No No. But this family is ********. It's already 2 days and still happening this ****. I don't wanna go outside anymore Beacuse when I came home I can't explain everything. I felt like..... I don't know I wanna end mylife ASAP. I don't want to be part of this Family Anymore . Can I please ******* die? Can I please jst die in my sleep? I can't take it anymore. I tried to be strong but I don't think I still can handle this pain anymore . Lord please let me Die Now? I don't like the life that you gave to me it's a ********. I'm so sorry . It always happens when I go out. If this ***** happen again for the third time I have no hesitation to End mylife. **** this life? Please someone out there **** me? I would be so fcking happy if you do my favor. This is jst too much pain. I can't handle this anymore. I wanna die today. How the **** do we **** ourself? Help me please. If not tomorrow then, next day. I've never been this suicidal. I always cheer up myself in this kind of situation , but ****? This is jst too much for me. I'm just a fcking 15 ,I shouldn't think like these problems . If you're reading this ( stranger) you're the witness of my suffers. Am ***** **** myself so don't **** yourself. Everything will be okay, you deserve better and you have a bright future, so don't think of ending your life okay? I wish I won't wake up tmr. I wanna die, lord just let me Die . Who tf will still receive this in 5 years?