A letter from May 19th, 2021

Dear Rin, Today, I think it really set in that mom is dying. By the time you receive this, she has likely already long passed away. I want you to remember something- it isn’t your fault. I bet you carry some amount of guilt. You couldn’t see her, could you? You wanted to see her one more time, but you never got the opportunity. You weren’t there for her like you wanted. I’m sure you hold regret over it- because I currently regret my position. I haven’t seen her, and right now, she is nearing the end. I thought I had more time. More time to get enough money together to take sis and go visit her, more time to apologize for my past actions and more time to thank her for all she did as our mother. I really want to tell her this before she dies and I lose my chance. But I’m afraid it may already be too late. She’s unconscious, and even when she is conscious, she’s in pain. All she knows right now is pain, and I hate it. I hate that that’s her existence right now. So to you, Rin of the future... remember this. Remember that you said yourself that this isn’t your fault. You don’t have to feel guilty about how the cards fell. If there is an afterlife, mom is going to it, and any loving god will show her mercy. Right now as you read this, I’m sure you wish she were still alive. I’m sure you wish she had pulled through. But as I type this, I have to say I think ***** may be her only way of peace. I hate knowing how she suffers. Oh how time changes the way we feel on things. Hold your loved ones close. Never forget this loss and all you wish you could change about how it happened. Don’t repeat this.