A letter from April 26th 2021

WARNNING Don't read if you arent feeling yourself today. Dear FutureMe, I just found this makeup box you know the ones that lock, It was at dads in your drawer for the past 4 years maybe even less I've had this key at moms and I didn't know what it was for well I found that out today smart right have one thing at dads and the other at moms so no one on either side could get in it. I had completly forgotten what I had put inside it. When I opened it there were pictures of little Payton, Aveline and us. I stated to cry but in a wierd way it also made me happy. Once I was done looking at the pictures one of the lettres caught my eye I remembered clearly what it had said but I read it anyway I mean at that point there wasint anything that could make our PTSD bettre or worse right I read it and it was exactly what I thought It was the lettre we wrote to dad explaining how his fiance's son was ******** abusing us. We have been reliving that day ever since having nighmares to scared to sleep. Flashbacks, panic attacks. Are we any better now? Have we finally started to live? Have we finally been able to trust peopel? Is all that stuff gone? Are we free from our dark thoughts? Do we have a family of our own? Do we like our job? Hows Mom and Josh? Hows dad? Is Jordan still not answering anyone in the family? Do we still worry that we are going to wake up one day to a phone call that Jordans dead? We love her she's just intangeled into a bunch of stuff right now. How's Adelyn and Alina and Mags? I know that right now we have a hard time hopeing, and that we don't belive in god. But have those things change? do we hope now? do we pray? I am truly sorry if you read this and it made you cry I just wanted to write because it helps. Right now it feels like this pain is never going to go away and we found the perfect song for that its called six by sleeping at last. It discrbes how we feel perfectly. Love you always. Your past self.