A letter from May 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Today is Tuesday, May 18th. It's currently 4:47 at the top of this letter. Things couldn't be more hectic in the world right now, well, they could but suffice it to say that it's pretty bad. In the last 2 years we've battled so much as a whole. Job loss, a pandemic, a gas hack scare, shortages that range from money, water, masks, alcohol, hand sanitizer, healthcare staff, hospital beds and even toilet paper. There's been sooo much I've more than likely forgotten a bunch. Covid-19 is no joke. It's messing with people's ability to work, pay their bills, sustain their bills and health, see our families and even kiss or be close to them. You haven't seen your grandparents closer than 10 feet in 510 days. I thought that being in the house wouldn't be so bad since I've become accustomed to following orders from your (hopefully) ex husband by now. The amount of abuse has greatly increased for some reason. I say that because luckily he has still managed to find work here and there so he's out of the house much more than I am. In fact I have learned a good routine to anger him less. Once a month to walmart, even if that means two trips in and out of the store and 5-6 hours shopping with a grumpy 5 year old that has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. I only leave to go to doctor's appointments. 3 years ago is when you found out about your very rare genetic disorder: Bertolotti's syndrome with your "special" extra lumbar and I'm hoping by the time you read this you will have learned to cope with the pain and just "having to deal with it". Hopefully you'll have been living for 5 years with your new partials since its been that many months since you went to the dentist and have been waiting for the oral surgeon to contact you. Also hoping that you now have disability and something to help with the pain because it seems everywhere I turn I get turned down. Maybe you even have a babysitter now and FREEDOM. Living in section 8 by now with a steady form of income?? It's hard to do it all alone, with no help, getting told no everywhere you go, a child with mental health issues, another child living with their dad, constant back pain, an abusive husband, no where to go and no help or money, and multiple health problems... AT 32 YEARS OLD! By now Gabby will be 10 and Lili will almost be 20! In fact, in a couple of days Lili will be 15!!!!! I hope everyone is still fine and you haven't had any major losses anymore. We've lost too many people in our life haven't we? My biggest wish is to be out of this prison and feeling free again. Maybe it won't hurt too bad to play pool and I'll get good at it again but mostly I pray that by this time we've managed to hug our grandparents, get Gabby stable, have our own place and the anxiety of doing it alone has subsided, we have an income, no one is calling us a ***** every weekend and breaking your things, hitting you and making you feel worthless and taking away your car keys, you've gained some victories and that your much happier than I am now. If you are, consider sending your future self one of these. I wish us the best of luck and hope and pray for YOUR FREEDOM BABY GIRL!! YOU SURE HAVE EARNED IT!!!