A letter from May 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hello! It’s still very early morning right now and I actually forgot that this website exist, I just got a notification on my email and reminded me to write again. I know I wrote something before and I can’t remember the entire thing I wrote on there, but yeah here I am. Last May 11 we found out that I am pregnant!! We are beyond excited about this! But I am nervous at the same time because I’ve had a some bad experiences in the past, I’ve had 2 ectopic pregnancies and 2 chemical pregnancies and I don’t want to go through that again. This was actually unexpected because in August we are planning to do IVF already, and I was supposed to have my consultation on May 24, but now base on my app I am 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. In 10 days we will go to the doctor to get an ultrasound and I am so excited and a little bit nervous. I’m hoping that everything goes well and that our baby is in the right position and has a heartbeat and healthy. Earlier this morning I woke up around 4am, I couldn’t sleep anymore coz I tend to overthink and imagine things. And then I started having this sharp gassy pain all over my belly, it went away but then I started feeling something in my butt. I’m hoping this is not a bad sign but based on my search it is “normal”.. I can’t wait to have that ultrasound already and get my mind at ease. Then I’ll finally tell jenie and drassel about it, they’re the first people I wanted to tell because I know I can trust them. As of now I’m still thinking (if everything goes well) when I would tell the rest of my family. I will have another scan on June 10 but I’m still unsure if I’ll tell them already by that time, because I know mama, she can’t keep her mouth shut. And I know the entire barangay will know once I told her. And I don’t want that to happen yet. But we will see, so far I feel good and excited. Only the feeling from earlier scared me a little.