A letter from May 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMepp, i am currently in bed, and i should be asleep, but i'm not, becasue i'm worried about uh, just seeing people during, the meeting people thingie thats going to be happening. I've been shaking a lot but, i guess i'll learn to not do this? i don't know. It's 3:55 am 5/18/2021 Anyways, Hopefully you're doing okay and finally have a dog. Or if they're gone then i'm sorry. This current 2021 me is still in shambles from Mochi. I kinda like someone but won't make any moves. I just don't think love is for more me. Or, rather, just being in a relationship. Unless someone can prove me otherwise. So if you're dating someone right now, uh, hopefully they don't use you or leave you. Or make you feel bad. Cause that would be horrible. Just like your two previous ones..and little miscellaneous ones.(just 2 haha). Also is Celi still in your life? I hope so. She's the only one that didn't leave me. Do you believe in best friends now? All your dads are currently still alive as of, the year i'm typing this in. So that's neat. and your mom. Sorry if i made it sad, i'm still trying to not do that. Is Dominic ok? check up on him. Unless, you went some other route where you did end up together. if that's the case, wow. . finally. if not, that's okay too. You don't always need someone. Did Gabriel finally grow up more? He still gets sad whenever i say i'm not interested. I don't like it, but i understand why he does. I'd just prefer not to be tied down to who i can love cause someone else loves me. sorry i don't love you back, i can't force myself to. That doesn't mean you have to distance yourself. Every time you don't get what you want, you throw some kind of depressing fit. And i don't like to see it. Cause it makes me feel bad. And i shouldn't. You're wonderful as a friend but i can't seem to see any romantic aspects at all. at least, not the current 2021 Gabriel. I did love you, but it's already gone. I started to seem to have some kind of feelings in feb or march when i told you i'd wait for you, but you took it differently. You and your mom. You didn't even ask me what it meant, you asked your mom. I had to just stare at you and awkwardly laugh. I didn't agree nor disagree though, cause even i don't know my own feelings. The more i think about it, the more i start to believe it wasn't romantic love, but rather some kind of, feeling of loss? I guess since it's been a while since i had a friend who i almost talked to everyday (which was either elora in 2017, or Isai in 2018) Then it escalated to me talking t Daniel, Then Jeremiah, Then Oscar..then back to Celi, then that's when i finally had a group of friends to call home. Then Dominic came in and lifted me up. Especially my confidence. I semi thank him for letting me somehow start to begin my process of letting go of Elora, the rest goes to Daki who i dated for a bit (most of my personality came from him). I started to feel romantic feelings for Dominic, but they were nice and pure, which was a good feeling to have. But then stuff happened and that ended up with us not talking to each other. But i did put in effort to talk again with him, sadly at the time he thought there was no point and that he was scared he'd say something stupid, or nothing at all. Then that's when i started talking to Gabriel thanks to fornite. Then i guess from there he gained more feeling for me. But i wasn't ready for anything, nor were my feelings of Dominic removed at all. I guess that's where the chaos started. But anyways, you already know what happened so i don't need to explain myself anymore for that portion of this. So now, I guess i just won't have someone, like Gabriel? if that makes sense. To talk to or hang out with. He doesn't hold that with pride sadly and gets sad everytime i say that. But it's just the truth, if anything, that's as high as anyone can go, but he always wants more. One day, that'll be the ***** of him. Imagine it, really. Marleen x Gabriel.. it doesn't quite fit. And just a little weird considering i already dated a Gabriel..so..eh. But it's mostly just based on feelings. And i for one, don't have romantic interest in him. At least this year Marleen doesn't, i don't know about you. And if you ARE A THING, which is kinda disgusting and i don't like to think about it right now, uh...good for you? ..(it's really unsettling to think about tbh..eughh). But again, if it's someone new and that i haven't even met yet, well wow, Great job on socializing, unless they came to you haha. I wonder what job you have...hm, are you working as a limo driver??? that'd be cool.. or maybe a hotel person thingie? do you groom dogs? are you working at some ice cream place? construction? Maybe painting with Daniel?!?!, unless he died, then i'm really sorry. he's alive right now..And i love him very much, so know that you have already said it to him.annnndd.., he wouldn't want you to be depressed. Please. You made a promise. Unless he's alive and doing well, yay! Tell him It's Marleen from 2021 saying hi and bye, and that i kinda have to pee just a bit, but i'm too lazy. anyways, I'm gonna go now cause i gotta get up today for work that i gotta be at 4:45 pm. And if you forgot, it's the Bingo job you did. Listen to this when you get the chance again, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1brN9vLkyiE&list=PL7oC9A_s0bNWBI5TahajpDiDhiNQpVvk8&index=49 alright, goodnight, it's 4:28 am. now 4:29 am cause typing smh. :) it's okay to be alone, and hopefully you're loving yourself. <3 uh, idk what to put here, Best regards, Me???????????????? yay also...did ouranhighschool get a season 2????? and don't forget about wolfs rain. Or bangdream! Or cattails. Or idk. Here's Salsas number (210)802-9342 i'm glad i met him. his comments made me happy. and here's that weight loss center in case you're desperate again, (210)402-6060 later it's 4:34 now lmao okay fr this time later. - Selena Gomez