A letter from May 18th, 2021

Dear Future Me, Oh gosh, so much is happening right now. Lemme just say I might be bi. I have only told Linus and Leila (who is completely avoiding me). I don't know if I should even be typing this for people to see. Anyways, the date is 5/17/21 and Covid is still a thing. I just got my vaccine (yay!), and I'm feeling great. School started up again a few weeks ago, and I am loving it and hating it. I love seeing people again and all of the obvious middle school drama happening like it used to. I hate that my moods change so frequently now. One day I'll feel like a depressed 90 year old with no friends and the next day I'm crying of happiness. I currently like Benson (A.K.A Bagel). Also, I don't really know why (welllll do I?), but I'm getting very mixed vibes from Linus. One minute he's saying "love you bestie" and the next Spencer, his brother, is saying he's in love with me. I am also currently figuring out my friend group situation. My "lunch" or "main" friend group consists of Maya, Linus, and Victoria. My "P.E." friend group consists of Chloe, Isabelle, and Karina. My goal this year was 1, to be more involved in school; and 2, to be more "popular" if you would. I have been progressing in both. I wanted to be an ambassador, but then I found out you had to be chosen - and I was not. Also, I am going to be a WEB leader next year, which I am super excited about. Next, I think my social status is not yet popular, but known. Most people know who I am when they hear my name, and I could be considered 'cool', but I am not friends with any popular kid in any way. I have talked to a few including Nora, Benson, Ryan, and a few others though, so that's progress I guess. I think whats is helping a lot is my fashion sense. I am wearing more out there clothes and people seem to notice that. We have a spirit day tomorrow where we wear sports jerseys and pretty much show off our athleticism. I'm looking forward to that. In terms of home stuff, everything is pretty good. William is still doing DLA, and mama and dada are pretty much home all of the time. We still have the guinea pigs Tom and Jerry, and the two cats Daisy and Jojo. I am currently on swim torrance. I am loving it so much, but I am in pre-senior 1, which is pretty hard. I think I am getting faster, but it's hard to tell. Ashlee should be joining my group next month, so that'll make everything better even though she'll probably hate it at first like I did. Coach Chantal is great once you get to know her. She's super funny and nice to be around in general. Her coaching style is very hard. I like it though because we've never done the same workout once. Honestly, sometimes, I don't think I would be here without swimming. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes me happy. Moving on. I am trying to get back into surfing. I learned last summer (don't tell anyone), and I really want to get back in the water. The temperature is going up, and miraculously, my wet suit still fits me. I want to go if the waves are good sometime in the next couple of weeks. I am getting pretty tired from typing for like 20 minutes so I'm going to stop here. I know it might sound cringe, but I hope you liked looking into your past and I also hope you told some more people about you know what. In 5 years you should be just about finishing high-school (Oh my god). Hopefully you'll have experienced your first boyfriend, first kiss, and the whole high school experience. I REALLY hope you know what the hell you are going to do about college and being a doctor or whatever if you still want to do that. Also, If you are doing any sort of drugs or whatever, stop it right now. RIGHT NOW. Remember your innocent little 7th grade self who told herself she would never ever get addicted, and the awful, pointless health class you suffered through and hated, but learned a lot from. Love you bestie, BI-EEEEEEEE