A letter from May 14th, 2021

dear future me, it's 2021. i have questions. are u even going to see this? do u still have the same email as before ? god i hope not. it's a little odd. you'll be out of high school by now. if i made it this far in life. what happened ? with the people you met ? the people you thought you knew ? the music you listened to ? do you still make monthly playlists ? old taylor is playing from the alexa in our bathroom from the other room, rain and jaeger are young and enjoying some chicken nuggets and star wars in the living room, ayla's playing minecraft with her friends (finally !! she was playing her stupid saxophone for forever.) it's a casual friday night. what kind of casual friday nights does future me have ? do people joke about covid ? they just removed the mask mandate at school two weeks ago. i really hope they don't. that would be so cringe istg. are you and kiara still friends ? i just came back from her house. i know she'll probably move away by now. do u miss her ? did you get over him (both of them tbh) like i keep hoping i will ? do u think they changed you for the better or for worse ? i miss the old me. the happy me. i hope you don't remember why i was so sad. i'm only in my freshman year, i've got a lot ahead of me, people to meet, people to lose, memories to make, memories to miss. tears to shed, pained cheeks from laughing too hard. i hope you don't think back on things as much as i do now, it's what brought me to this website in the first place. it seems like all i do is stare at the ceiling and think about things that i can't change now. i hope you spend time with your family. while i could. i hope i don't have regrets, i hope i don't miss the old me, envy her like the way i do now. ill probably write a bunch more letters like this. but this... this feels different. so do me a favor. do this again, and again, and again, until i send an email that i'll never read. look back on the life you had for years, just to remember. the way you always have since you were literally 8 years old and you were reminiscing on the playground shenanigans in preschool thinking it was ages ago and you were so grown. don't grow up. you're never grown. with love, me