A letter from May 9th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, hey...i'm not okey it's 04:38 am i'm crying hh it's because of him it's hurting me a lot i've never wanted to fall in love in young age but i couldn't controll it and here am i now about to get depressed again it's hurting me so much cause i know he'll never be mine and i'm kust sitting there lie an idiot watching his photos and crying while listening to music i don't have a crush on him... i'm in love with him and that shit hurts more i have to get over him but it's almost impossible i know that i can't do it just like i know that i'll be in love with him for a long time it's already been 9 months ... i don't know how long i'll still be able to do this he's my first love the way i love him is making me crazy i've never never loved a boy like this he's just different and you know what's the worst thing if i have a chane to date him ( i had one and i lost it tho) i wpn't cause he's my friend's ex and i'll hurt her if i date him... damn it how did i became like this .. you know that place in our bodies named heart is hurting me so much it's like someone putted millions of knives in it adem is the knive if i stopped loving him i'll get more depressed and it'll be more like torturing me because i know that i won't be able to foget him he's the only thing that keeping me alive also the knives are the only thing that keeping me alive if i took them of i'll die because they were stopping the bleeding.... yours shahd 09/05/2021 04:49