A letter from May 8th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Thought I would write this on a good day. I'm still sad, not much has changed, just me getting older. I joined a softball league on the weekends, today was the first weekend. It was fun. It's hard to do things, It's hard to WANT to do things. It's hard to think that it will get better, that I won't feel this way forever. It's hard to see the point. It's hard to like who I am. Everything is just hard. Just want it to end a lot of the time. I am drained from thinking and hating myself, wish I could just stop. Have to take the little victories though. I have a loving boyfriend, Tony, very lucky to have someone like him. I hope you found someone even if it isn't Tony, or maybe you're happier alone. I haven't been drinking lately, I have a good job, I am consistently going to therapy and taking my pill. I actually took up a new hobby, practicing my typing. I have gotten to 66 WPM. In my last letter, I hoped my future self was happy. Consistency and Discipline will make you that. I don't need to hope that you are better. I know that you are. Feeling and thinking like this won't last forever. Things get better if you want them to. I have felt like this for a long time, it's time to do something about it. By now, I know you have found peace and are happy. Read this letter, remembering how far you've come.