A letter from May 5th, 2021

Dear future me, I don't really know why I'm writing in english even tho the past two letters were in Italian but you got to take what you get. I've got a reminder on my mail today so I'll tell you about you the situation I'm in right now. So, take a sit. I'm at the lowest I've ever been in my entire life. I'm dropping out of the university and I'm too afraid to tell our parents. I'm scared of the future and I don't know what to do. I'm depressed (even if I'm not diagnosed because I'm also too afraid to call the psychologist lol it suits me) and I barely get out of bed and eat. Actually as a family this is our second quarantine because mum has Covid. So now I'm stuck here during the zona gialla, hoping to find a way to feel better. I feel like **** and I have suicidal thoughts almost every day. Actually I don't really want to die bc I would hurt my friends and family, I would prefer to stop existing and end my suffering. Idk maybe a coma would be great. I'm a little bit hopeless because I don't really have the strength to do nothing with my life right now and everybody think that I'm just being lazy. Also I go out with our friend once in a month if I'm really lucky so I miss them veryveryvery much. Anyway I hope that you're in a good place right now and that you're doing things that you really enjoy. Get well soon you little ***** plz, The past you <3