A letter from May 2nd, 2021

Dear Me, hi. to be honest im not really sure why i wanted to do this. maybe I felt like the letters i received in middle and high school underwhelming. maybe i procrastinated a paper until an hour before it was due on tiktok and saw this on one of those. yeah its definitely that last one. i fell down a rabbit hole of videos using one specific sound from bojack horseman. it's about ***** it think but its very quiet. lonely and resigned and it feels beautiful every time i hear it. i really ******* hope you finished that show because i really like it and itd be nice to finish a show i like for once. i think i liked that sound because it reminds me of how i feel about *****. which i guess sounds very melodramatic but im a dramatic ***** what can i say. i have been thinking about ***** a lot. maybe mary's social work stuff has something to do with it. that or spooky. she died less than a month ago for me. i hope you still think about her. it makes me feel lonely and resigned and sad. but i know thats just how it is. i dont know. this is coming off very sad but im not like doing bad or anything haha. stressed but when am i not. nearing the end of the semester. finishing MACC. god i hope your somewhere doing theatre or something else that makes you happy. i hope youre happy. its hard sometimes and im stressed for sure but i think im happy right now where im at. i really like living with mary and i kinda like living with alex and leah. they're fine ya know weve got it figured out for the most part. im at my moms now its been a couple days since that last paragraph and also i just ******* rear ended someone i hope you remember that ****. what the **** why did they leave? god**** crazy **** i was so confused. man i really hope they never called or anything that would ******* suck. i think itll turn out fine tho my car is fine. i hope you still have that car i really like it. tho i guess in five years i might not anymore. i wonder what my next crash will be haha. i wonder where youre working now. probably not at ann's anymore but like honestly i wont be mad if you are im really gonna miss that job. i love the puppies so much and all the other dogs too. it really is like having 30 dogs its amazing. im sure it was hard to say bye to them. i think if you wanted to visit they would be okay with that. if you dont already do that you should bc im sure you miss them. say hi to rauri and sweep and allana and rhinn and angus and warrior for me. and all the others too. i bet theyve had at least a couple new litters since then. im sure you love them too. i feel like there's a lot to say ya know. youre 25. i literally cant imagine being 25 thats ******* wild. thats a long time from now. i hope everyone is doing okay. i don't expect the dogs to still be alive. i hope we dealt with that okay. itd be hard for dad oreo dies more than anyone probably. man i hope hes doing okay too. tell josie i say hi. shell be like what? 22? holy **** thats insane shes 17 right now and i already think shes growing up too fast. shes gonna be a senior next year. did mom and ray ever move? they've been trying to for a while now. how are rachel and mary? tell them i say hi too. and i guess whoever else is in your life. i hope you fill it with fun and cool people. people who dont let you get away with all your **** lol. oh man lol might be cringe again. ******* wild brother. god i cant wait to learn about all the new memes and stupid **** going on. i wonder how our style in clothes and decorating and **** will have changed. right now all i wear or use is like sage green and rust and golden yellow. very 70s. i should probably branch out a little haha. i think more than anything else i just wanna say im proud of you. no matter what. i think were really good at being proud of other people but i love you and i can't wait to be you. bc i trust us to learn and be better than we were before and i trust that youve grown a lot since where i am.