A letter from May 3rd, 2021

Dear Future Carla, How are you? I hope you’re okay because I know you aren’t right now. Being away from your family and oldest friends for three years hasn’t been the easiest. But you’ve met great people along the away, created relationships that you’ll never forget, and found out things about yourself that have impacted you. Right now, this last year in High School, has been complicated. You tried changing schools and golf academies at the beginning of the year because you wanted something better for yourself. Although that is what you wanted, the universe said no. Everything got in your way and your parents way to make that impossible and you had to go back. For the first month you fell in a dark place, where you felt alone. You cried almost everyday and no one would ask you if you were okay (in their defense, they didn’t know how you were feeling so don’t hold a grudge). Except your roommate and now boyfriend, Gio and Chema. They’ve been by you and listened to you. And for them you are great full. Everything was good, until Gio left and you realized that you only had about two months left with your boyfriend before you both went your separate ways to college. That sucks. You now sleep alone in your room, but you have your other friends...Right? Sometimes. You can talk to them, but sometimes it feels like it’s only to talk about them. You don’t mind because you’ve learned to listen and honestly, they have bigger problems than yours; Or at least that’s how it feels. So you start crying again, feeling lonely, and no one knows about this. But your boyfriend realizes. He asks everyday if you’re okay, he’s with you whenever you want or need. And one day you break. You tell him that you are surrounded by people, but feel alone. You tell him how you feel like a therapist for your friends most of the time. “Everyone comes to Carla when they want to talk to someone, but when Carla wants to talk no one will listen.” He listens to you, he holds you when you cry, and he makes you feel loved. Now you don’t feel so alone. But deep down you know you can’t depend your happiness on him. So you’ve promised yourself something. For the month there is left you will distract yourself. Find ways to be happy without Chema. This doesn’t mean you broke up with him, don’t worry. You’re just trying to be a little more independent. I see it as practice for college when we have to do long distance. A lot of emotions to unpack right? But enough about me, let’s talk about you. Future Carla. I hope the world is a better place. I just hope it got a little better each year. You’ve been out of college for one year now. Right now I’m not sure what I want to do with my life, but I hope future Carla has figured it out. Wether it’s working at a fashion magazine in New York, or working at the marketing department for your favorite brand, I hope your happy. I really hope you haven’t stopped golfing. Honestly, you had a lot of talent. This sport has given you a lot of opportunities. I hope you’ve made new friends, but still maintain contact with the others (if you’ve managed to talk to them about the current situation). I really hope you haven’t broken up with Chema because I’m not sure you’ll find someone that cares and loves for you the way he does. I’m serious. This kid hates half the world’s population, but he would do anything for you. But, if you did go your separate ways I hope you two ended in good terms and maybe you’ve found someone that makes you as happy. I hope you’ve created a better relationship with your brother. I love him deeply, but I’ve been able to show it. He hasn’t either, but I know he cares. He’s in college right now, so if you haven’t talked to him in a while, nows the time. I really hope your relationship with your parents is a little better. They’ve been by you your whole life. You should show a little more love, just saying. Speaking of “shoulds”. Advice time. Don’t change for anyone. If people don’t like you how you are, they aren’t worth it. Stop listening so much. It’s a good quality, don’t get me wrong, but you need to set boundaries. There are days where you want to talk, make sure you have friends who will equally talk and listen to you. Give yourself mental health days. I not saying you won’t be okay, but it’s never wrong to sometimes just stop and breathe. For the people who love you the most, talk to them. I know you hate talking through the phone, but a call day won’t **** you. Especially, for you parents or grandparents. Show more affection. You are a caring person, but you don’t show enough affection to those who care for you. Tell people you love them more often. Last but not least, love yourself. I know it’s hard, but if you don’t love yourself first, it’s going to be harder to accept love from someone else. Now, if your dreams haven’t come true, don’t be disappointed. Everything happens for a reason. Like Aisha told you “Your aura is white, and according to this book this means that you have a unique path in life and you are going to impact lives.” I’ve never believed in the whole energies and auras topic, but that is something to hold on to. Remember that everyone is special in their own way. But if you’re not happy...GET OUT OF THERE! I don’t care if it’s a job, a relationship, or a place. If it’s not making you happy, it’s not right. Life is full of memories and I hope you’ve lost all that fear that I keep, to make as many memories as possible. Like Walt Disney said “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” P.S. Drink water please. You know you have to and I don’t do it enough.