A letter from Apr 27th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I just thought it would be fun writing a letter like this. I guess I should introduce myself so you remember who you were and who you became! Right now my name is Finja and I'm 15 years old. I'm in 9th grade, my class teacher is called Ms. Wolff and she is really nice, she likes to call herself "Mama Wolff". I have 5 friends right now, Marcia, aka Mark, Sophie, aka Nauru's, Leoni, aka Achim, Louis, aka Luzie and Benni. I guess I could say that there are some more, but these 5 are the ones I actually like, I think I like them! I have a pretty big problem with feeling emotions and accepting myself. I don't really know what happiness or sadness feels like, I haven't cried in 5 years or something like that. I never was able to feel angry, just annoyed. Did you manage to let it all out? To crie so long that your head hurt, to scream and shout in rage, to laugh and grin so much your cheeks hurt? I hope so, I really hope you did and still do some times. Okay, continuing with my introduction. The music I listen to Right now is pretty much everything. I live Wilbur Soot, Wavvyboi, Tj_beastboy, Rusty cage, Anson seabra, Straykids, Forest Blakk, Derivakat, Ludovico Einaudi and way more. My favourite songs right now, at the 28th April 2021, 12.54 am, are If you love her - Forest Blakk Voices - Derivakat L'manburg Anthem - Kanaya ft. Viewers Sara - We three Your sister was right - Wilbur Soot Saline solution - Wilbur Soot Falling apart - Michael Schulte Als ich allein am Geländer stand - Tj_beastboy Honey and glass - Peyton Cardoza Night before dawn - Derivakat and they change way too often. I love the nature, especially the sound of rain and storms, the birds cheeping in the morning and evening or the insects humming during the sunrise. The bees singing their songs in the sunlight, the hummingbirds humming in harmony. The animals walking through their home and giving these places a magical feeling. The organisms in the ground, the softness of the moss. I feel at peace when I walk through a forest and listen to the leaves whispering and the leaves crawling. The woods cracking under my feet and the trees telling their own little story with the whispering sound of the breeze calms me down and gives me a way to escape reality for some time. Having friends is really stressful for me but I'm trying my best and I'm trying to be a good friend. I don't really know how to handle friends, do I need to be their every second? Am I allowed to.just disappear for a week? Because that's what I normally did before they befriended me. Can I just tell them to **** off and leave me alone or is it rude to not talk to them for some time? I like being alone in the nature or just in my bed with a good book. With a book that captures every little bit of your mind, your soul and your being. A book that gives you another life you can live and experience. A book that changes your view of the world, your opinion on different things and a little part of yourself. A book that adds a life to the thousand life's you've already lived in the other books. I would do everything to sit in an old book store or library with a cup of good coffee, the smell of wood and old paper in the air. The tiny tingles of old magic on your skin, the stories hidden in every millimetre of the place, the history you can find in all these books. The souls in the air, the lives carved into te woods. The experiences shared. I would say i'm an artist but i'm not really talented. I love painting little drawings, even if they don't look good. I like the idea of being able to create whatever you want, no matter how absurd it is! That's what the true me is right now. Do you still enjoy the nature and do you still have a passion for horses? Did you learn how to play the piano or the kalimba? How did school go? I hope you made it through and are happy now, school really sucks right now, because of the pandemic and, it's school. Are you allowed to go out again, to live your lives like you should? Is the pandemic over? I hope so, you should be able to do everything you want, you deserve it! You've come so incredibly far, it's fascinating. How are the cats? Do you finally have a horse? And who are your friends? Are you still with the five I mentioned above? Maybe you should search for my green fake leather notebook, there are so many pictured and stories. What I really want to know: did you fall in live, do you have a significant other? How does it feel to love, to be loved? Is it really as beautiful as everyone says? And is it just those people or does your brain really stop working in the near of this one person? I hope you are happy right now, you deserve nothing else. Do ranboo, technoblade, tommy, tubbo, philza, dream, George, sapnap, punz, awesamdude, puffy, bad, skeppy, Jack manifold, wilbur, quackity, niki, sykkuno corpse, pewdiepie, antfrost, ponk, purpled, Eret, karl and schlatt still stream? Do you still know them? Do you remember how they saved your life so many times, how they made you happy?how they are making me happy right now? Is there still a dreamsmp and did tommy and tubbo move together? Did ranboo move to the UK? And please tell me Kristin, Philzas wife, got the visa and lives with him! Mumza and dadza deserve to be together! Are they still married? Do they have kids? Oh please tell me they have kids, they would be the best parents. And techno, tommy, wilbur, tubbo, ranboo, they would be the best uncles! What are yo doing right now? Are you studying, working, I don't know. Maybe your even famous? Please stop what you are doing if you aren't happy with it, sit down and think about it, write down pros and cons so you can decide if it's worth it. You are so important. Are you still obsessed with the moon? Are you still telling the moon stories, waiting until he's at your window so you can say good night? Do you still watch the stars flicker and shine with all their light? I hope so, it calmes me down everytime. Now tell me, how's the family? Is mum still single? Is there a person, do you like them? Is dad still with anja? If yes, are they married by any chance? Were you there? Did Lucia finish school? What is she doing now? Did she find her significant other? Are you an aunt or uncle or whatever you want to be by this time? I don't know if there's anything else I could write, if yes, I will send another email to you, my future self. I love you, you are important, you are beautiful and I love you so much. Your past self, Finja.