A letter from Apr 22nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I really hope you feel better. Things aren't really good now. I hope you reached your goals. Did you lose weight? Did you choose a good high school? Did you get better at dancing? Can you play the guitar? How is it going in school? Do you have a roommate? Did you get some new friends? What's their names? What high school did you take? How did you decorate your room? I really hope it's green. What kept you going? Is mom calling all the time? How is it going for Andjela? How is Jovana doing in 8th grade? Is Andjela in England? Is it hard, you know, with life? Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up? Do you have your hair short now? Is it a shaggy wolf cut? Do you finnaly wear makeup? Did you get taller? Do you visit Jennifer sometimes? Did your clothes style change? Did you get a boyfriend? Do you miss Filipstad? Is it fun there you are now? Do you have a dance youtube channel? Is your fear of water better? Is Coronavirus over? I really hope it is. It's hard now. Did you forget any good stuff that happened? Do you still have contact with any of your middle school classmates? I hope you're not that lazy anymore! Get yourself together! You can do it! Make mom proud now, please... Study really hard and don't forget to rest... Are you eating normaly? Please do. There are so many things I want you to think about: Don't get too stressed. Work hard and prove mom that you can get a job. Make her the proudest mom. Let her see what amazing daughter she have. Call Jovana and help her with her studies. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Think about what you want to and will become. Write again here and send it to us when we are 19. I love you, please take care of yourself and others. Don't let me down. And, Happy Birthday. From 14 years old Kiki to 16 years old Kiki.

Epilogue

6 months later

Nothing freaking changed Kiki.
You are Sucidal!
You're still fat and ugly.
No you did not cut your hair.
Friends? You actually stopped being friends with Jennifer, but she's asking...

Ganai ot tlak her oyu owoomrtr ot.
Pytrte in thwi eohrt heter meos yuo lepoep nahg slocoh aer atok uto nidr?fse. Teyh not iamnidge yuo owh are. Calltuya hemt eon wkon fo ,erldlaay yuo elnel. U'yroe of etmh hiwt otn but slcoe yan.
Illts rplepu lmiyaf is vile esmoc it wtih your ot yuo moro soho,cl adn oyru hwne.
Tygnuids oalrpbby not afil nläsluashpsakmkd ure'yo nad dna asscl ymg luyo'l.
Oohlcs byo t'ahws yuo ikel a nuf ni. Tbu tngaiynh eroy'u try od'tn nda ihm, spna ksa you nonag ubtao his nokw fro.
Aosl. . . . A yda eht ltsea ta osemmseti er'yuo hsoru 4 oicfntinasf gntriiw ay,d welho.
Ot eitm ?odof you atwn htae fdo,o hotrw eyver pu uoy tae ouy.
Bda yoru fo ebeusca runse dan to lhocos uyo go the tenalm hahetl. .
Oecn oyu lses in ekil neacd ro d?eacn mtohn a. Ouy nca iugart eretbt thna utb isllt lpay nad uoy skscu eht rutaig? did it. Now y'roeu otin iopan mero. Panio a on wne reldean eht oyu gson. Utnelebso llaye.
Uoy and mfilay oemr uidgngj still eevr are oryu tnha ehyt etha. He'ss rjineefn eowsr yhet w,sa etmh parcemo honnitg evre own atth aer ot. Oyu her isms kdina.
Oot oyur nadik uksc sotlym nerfids won buecesa.
Ofr evre ouy tisfr het udknr gto time ?eetsrc a. Uoy lot a irdec.
Apcin also and mtei a dha xaintey ad,b uyro gnehbiart tcktaa tgo drha uyo si.
Eus yuo tnoaerilh tneof to ignhtrbae ttha tmei ahrd heav bseuace uyo say ortfgo. Doyb laso uyo evraewth yuro uhrts do. Lchoos ouy ebcmoe sedsrset aer athw elayrl hghi aannw aeftr tou ouy.
Elylj tebrtu yuo pkop cetcnor no uentpa fcrgiinh ho a my c,ihnawds tnwe nda. Hetm otu chkec teh ,sero. A ahtt ouy mnae fro ot eeascbu iubasev acple an atrfe yfalmi het os nmiaa,zg 'ditnd wsa good ctoercn uoy flul annwa it cierd evlea cemo hte ouhr yaphp dna.
Nru ltils waya hrwot liltet ouy ilve igevs nad ist' orfm heom it n,ca jiernfne eyvre if itwh me trsut enfn,irje uyo comtmne.
Stries estll verey ssgue e,yfosrlu oury ruonyeg so klil atht won uoy ot day liek ithkn ew.
Elov ivglin re,agt het nyol immi is dkina itngh oyu. Ouy edatstr ihm steb ohsgt tnaevh' coohsl eens yoru oby hhig uoy slao ,oyu etlf dferin nesic. Hte tlfe in thero emho all adn hsoert ear.
Uory'e no oury onw.
Lal dna yaddraems ppoele abuueflti fi yrou otcnu in do'nt teh fo you nfufaocnsti.
Uyo lemobpr a emddgyaianr ,yhae iwth llits ehva. Than reev rsweo 'its.
Oehp ei!d !yeb yuo.

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