A letter from Apr 19th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, hey, uhm yeah, it’s 2021 rn and yeah things haven’t been going well for a while. A lot of things changed. For starters, you changed your name from letting people call you sophie to hana. it’s really cute haha. and in 2020, covid happened. now in 2021, military coup is happening. i dont know what more is coming but i wish everything would be better than this last years. i’ve been suicidal a lot lately, so writing this feels weird, (a letter to my future self), im not even sure if i’m gonna be breathing in a few years. i’ve been isolating myself from my friends and everything. for schoolwork, everything is delayed. i just wish things could go faster so i could just jump right into me dying from old age or something. i really wanna leave this country. i always wanted to but now the desire has become far lot stronger. hmmm i wanna be living in korea or canada in a few years if im still living. well, friends are ok. snow and zeon are great friends of mine. they’re doing alright i guess. i dont know if you (future me) is still in contact with them though. welp, im 16 now and i aint got any boyfriend or girlfriend at the moment and i never had. well yes, i decided that i would just not label my *********, i’ll just like who i’ll like or love even. (*** panic!) to be really honest, i’ve given up on me finding a romantic partner. i just wish im just saying this too soon. i have body dysmorphia. im really in the dark these times so if you’re reading this, that means you survived or still suffering. i hope it’s me reading this. and that everything is better than ever. i just wish to have a normal and peaceful life. i miss chicken nuggets. i’ve been stuck at home for almost 2 years now and this isn’t good. AT ALL! as a 16-year-old past you, i wish you lotta loves and great wealth and happiness with the right people in a peaceful and delightful place. i love you, best, past hana/sophie