A letter from Apr 18th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Or in this case future you, My beaming star, you've filled me with more joy and love than anyone I know to have done so, you've shown that there is something there for me and aided my heavy shoulders when weight of pain bore them, what I feel for you can't be put into words well enough in the same way we will never understand the universe in words, symbols and numbers, you make everything meaningless compared to your love and then you gloss back over the world and give it purpose in my eyes, you're the relief people feel when being rescued from deep oceans or the friendly face when running from danger, when I first met you I saw you're eyes, those young, deep, powerful eyes, of course the moment you saw me and returned the favour of eye contact we sharply looked elsewhere but I can feel that moment right now, the outstretched eternal memory of you in my mind at Gabby's 14th birthday party, eyes have always captured me and you are bestowed with the very pair that I have always found most interesting, not only the dark luscious colour but the shape, a soul filled roundness but still having edges, always displaying longing and a seeming sorrow but flickering amongst it is a warmth, an understanding, a mutuality between the observer and the onlooker, they say the eyes are the window to the soul and your tiny mahogany traps never cease to amaze, how can time and space be so particular with whom it gives its best attributes, how the folds of nature have been bent so well that the concoction of such a magnificent being had been created, how does one vessel embody so many hearts and minds, so many characteristics that so many lack and so few share, how. Each time I look at you, there stands before a person who I feel I have always known, one who is missing piece to my puzzle which I get to feel the eternal sense of matching with, someone who I relate to and can express with so much by saying so little, how do I know you in your entirety yet still discover more, you're the answer to my mystery about you and it juxtaposes it's own sensibility, over the time I've known you, never once have I been anything short of madly in love with you, there is nothing to fear, nothing to hate, nothing to be angered with because it suggests there is imperfection between our joining in which the flooding waters of ill-will and spite would grow and erode the edges further, those waters just wash passed us and we can still breath because to us, they're not even there, even know I don't think I've stopped the flow of my writing since the beginning of the letter because whatever I have to say about you is freshly stored and always has been, I saw somewhere that "the right person shouldn't be the one who springs butterflies inside you because it means you're at unease around them" and it has become one of the things that stays in my mind constantly since then because I couldn't have related to it more, I've never felt at unease around you even when we first met you'd sprang embers of a dim-light fire in my heart, ever present since then and undying, keeping me warmth with your endearment, not once have I felt misplaced in your company, only centred and grounded with that sense of being in the right place at the right within all of the world and further, you're embrace makes me feel alive, loved and known, if ever I am not at my best I've always known that I can turn to you and you would be there not out of a sense of duty or service but something more, a drawing of connection, a tidal power of relation, by the time you read this I feel the world will have changed but I hope and vow that we will not have, that our constant connection with have bonded us through the difficulties of life and that if we do not currently live and breath together that we will have lived well in each others company and died knowing that we are forever have and will be in each others minds, hearts and souls, I love you Naheed, I want you to know that From your eternal admirer, Max (p.s. : I didn't realise at first but you mentioned it and last time I checked 768 beats 600 :P EVERYTHING is a competition, + I love you more than you love me so whatever you say, I will forever love you more)