A letter from Apr 15th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hello there future Lief! Since we are very forgetful I will probably not remember writing this which is good I guess for some self reflection 5 years from now. I got this idea of Tik Tok from Grace_ocall and thought it would be beneficial in the long wrong. I'm currently watching a 40 minute video of Tik Tok clips on YouTube while chilling in my bed after eating out with Eva elsevier, Ben Reed, Ben Worley, Carter Shelton, Kaleigh Powers, David Ayers, and Vincent Gould. We went to Barberitos but Eva and I went to cookout since we didn't like Barberitos at this time at least. There's only one main reason why I am writing this to you. I just want to say I hope things get better for us. I hope all these feelings will go away, all these thoughts will be forgotten, and all of everything will have been worth it. As we know about a year ago we got depression out of nowhere and has made me feel so bad in life. There was a short break but now it is all coming back since the past few months have been one hell of a **** rollercoaster. I have all my friends to help me get through the day but when I go home, I feel so lonely and have nothing to look forward too. I try and try to be happy but the thoughts just keep coming back and I can't get rid of them and just ruins my whole mood. I hope we are still friends with all of my current friends and still keep in touch. But of course make a **** ton of new friends. You know we love to be social. There is one thing that I hope we will have nothing to do with regarding a certain person in the future. I hope you will make the right decisions leading up until we are ready to move on from this person to the point where if we see them, the memories will not remind us of what could've been. As of two days ago, I have decided to grow some balls amd block Dillon. I won't remind you of all the bad things he has done to us or all the good things he has done for us. I hope you will have the strength as you go on these next few years to forget and maybe forgive. He has caused me so much pain and ******* hate him. Sure he might have distracted me from depression, but his "sorry" replies does not make up for what he did. I love him and you will love him, but I'm realizing it is time to get him out of my life. I hope I succeed and I hope you will be able to enjoy the hardship that I am going through right now. This letter gives me hope and a feeling of relief as I dream about how my future self will take this letter. You better be smiling and crying with happy tears and telling me it was all worth it and that everything will be okay. I have almost given up on life a few times but will take your word for it. I hope you do become friends with Dillon again but to the point where no feelings can be rekindled or frown everytime we see or think of him. I hope he does well in life and continues his educational path. But right now, I'm worried on me in present time, past for you. He is on his own now. I promise I will try my best to improve my life and the situation with him. Right now I would say I'm on an okay path for you. I am addicted to nicotine but once I go to college I will try to stop. I love to drink and party and hope I still do that with my friends. I am going to University of Tennesee in Knoxville this Fall and am kind of nervous but excited at the same time. My roommates will be Jacob Stainback, and ben reed and his roommate, Canyon. I'm sure it's going to be fun with all of them. I plan on continuing through UTK for 4 years then moving to the West Coast. I plan on making a lot of friends and being academically successful with my education. So I hope you can check all those off by the time you get this. It will take 5 years to reach you which will mean I will be 24 which should be one year after I graduate from college! That's going to be crazy. I promise to make sure you have a good path and are reading this on the sandy shores of L.A. or the hustling city of Seattle, or even by the Bay area in San Francisco. Hopefully you will have a set city to live in by now. Career choice, no clue but I'm sure you will have made the right decision. As of relationships, I plan on going into UTK with a positive mindset of finding someone through the 4 years that will end up lasting me a lifetime and will have that someone to raise a happy family with. It's hard for me to imagine growing old with a guy, but I'm sure by them you will be more mature and wise with who. Always thought Dillon would be I our lives forever. Crazy how we almost roomed together lol. Choose your love wisely. It's rare and fragile. Don't stop giving up if you haven't found someone yet please. I can't imagine dying alone. Well I have school tomorrow so I'm going to head to bed and wrap this up. Wherever you are, whoever you are with in 5 years from now, please be grateful and just stop and look around you and realize how much you have grown as a person and how much you have accomplished within 5 years. I hope it will be all worth it, but I have faith in both of us for making the right decisions for the better of us. I can't wait to see where life will take us now, it'll only be a matter of time. And if you don't have someone in your arms right now, go find it. Make some power moves and be determined to find some arms to fall into, for you and me, I need some hope right now. I love you and I hope this finds you well. See you on the flip side :)