A letter from Apr 12th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Today is your 50th birthday. Please tell me we are still here. Our goal is to last another 5 years with the dreadful disease. We have managed 5 years with terminal cancer so far so I am hopeful and determined to last another 5. If we are still here our amazing beautiful daughters should be 18, 16, and 13. We will be right in the thick of their teenage years and grateful to be enjoying every minute of it - even the minutes that might not be so enjoyable. Imagine getting to stick around this long!! Today, as you write this, you are in the midst of a terrible spot in your marriage. Your love is depressed and borderline suicidal. Please tell me he is still here. Only one of us is allowed to die and since you are already making your way to the other side he really really needs to stick around. I know he is being awful and saying the most hurtful things but I truly hope you two have found your way back to each other. The girls cannot handle it if you both leave this world and you have already been handed your ticket (even if you keep delaying your exit date with the help of modern medicine). He is a great dad and they are going to need him so much. Make sure he knows this. If we have truly stuck around for another five years you have better stayed committed to your writing. I'm not going to give you a hard time about it right now. I'm always giving you a hard time about it. But really, you having nothing but time on your hands so if you aren't a published author by now there is no helping you. 10 years with this terrible cancer is really pushing it so I hope we are still here and I hope that was another 5 years well spent. Things are really awful right now but they will get better. Give your parents a hug if they are still around. Tell your girls you love them. Kiss your love if he will let you. Be grateful that we have made it this far because it is a gift no one thought we would get.