A letter from Apr 12th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, It's April 12th, 2021. Everything is ****** now. I hope that something happens to change it. I don't know what to do, but I think I'm trying. I know I should try harder. The other day I was thinking about a bf and Abdiel. He hasn't spoken to me since January. I don't feel like I miss him anymore. Which is good. I'm writing "you belong to me" it was good? Did I get the chance to upload it to Amazon and get some money out of it? Did I finished "Between barriers?" Did I win the Ricardo Miro Award? Are you with someone special? A bf? A partner? Kids? You do wanted to start a family. Are you happy? Or even alive? Hope you are. I've been having suicidal thoughts agains. I'm such a coward or really strong to not do that. Did you fix your teeth? Can you laugh like you used to? I hope you do. Say hi to the family from the past. You are a good person with ****** luck, I know that much. Maybe something happened, and our luck changed. Maybe you get a grip in your life and finally take it. What's like in 5 years? How people see the past? The pandemic? How many *****, how many changes? Did Panamá is still a ****** country? Did you manage to go far far away? You were thinking New Zealand, or New York, California, London, Paris, Germany, all with good art colleges. Did you decide on a major? (Fashion design was one, art, illustration, literature) you wanted to take the world by yourself. I'm still worried about my dad business, and the problem he has in the office. Do you remember that office in villa lucre, and how ****** you feel. Three days later and you are feeling better. That's great. I have to work tomorrow morning. Hope you now don't need pills to sleep. Maybe a good man is in your live and you don't need that anymore. A lot of things can happen in 5 years, right. Maybe after 36 years feelin ****** now everything is bright and the future is better. With the money you are gonna win tomorrow, and all the plans, the travels. The loves, the hurt, and the sadness. You are all that, use it. I know you can make it. I can't wait to see you in 5 years. Do you now have floating cars? Travel faster that light? Idk. I'm sleepy. Since I gotta go to sleep. I'm reading Sunday fundar btw. I just love Daryl banners. And you know it, how many more times have you read the spruce series? I love you my future me. We love us, even when we don't feel like we do. So, see you in 5 years. Love and loves Joshy from the past.