A letter from Apr 12th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, how have you been? Today i am writing this to tell you about the condition of my heart, health and soul. Yesterday we i.e. Neha and I completed 4 months to a successful marriage. She cooked her first whole meal comprising Dal chawal and subzi which we ate sitting on the floor in 345 Flat. It was a Sunday well spent. We also visited the Meditation Centre with Maa. To tell you about the experience, that place is surely super charged with such positive energies that you can experience as soon as you sit for prayer and meditation. The calm you feel and the peace you're at once you're done is immense and beyond words. Certain vivid questions that i have been pondering over these days include the birth and upbringing of a transgender child and how worse is the pressure of the society that such parents to whom such a special child is born get coaxed into abandoning it even when it has been related to them for as least as nine months physically save the emotions they had attached to it even from the beginning of the planning of a child. The pain in my right leg is something permanent now. These days i have also started to feel some pain in the heels also. I am not in a very good shape these days, i sport a paunch, i have again started to consume alcohol, eat flesh and make merry. I want to be in tandem and approaching the EKAM. I am still searching of the path that will lead me there. Will it be the Krishna Bhakti way or Babuji Mission way, I am yet to figure out. What i think of all the ways is that they lead to the same state of enchantment and peace via different and diverse routes. They say that i am a wanderer but i say i am a wandering explorer; observer of nature and humans who feels at home when away from home. When away from all wordly desires and only calmingly witnessing the sounds of nature. Now i am working towards the concept of exercising control over my emotions to such an extent that the actions and words of people could be taken only when i am in a state of experiencing them or else they fall on deaf ears and eyes see them just as they see the stones and pebbles attaching just the emotion of existence with them and nothing more. The cancers that Veena mausi and Sunil bhaiya have developed have been grief giving. Though i like her shaved head look. I hope they get well soon and the prevailing covid situation improves which has already taken a toll of souls with it. Even Pandey and his wife have got recently infected with it. This year i hope to finally begin my degree in Law. Have a good day.