A letter from April 7th, 2021

April 7, 2021 To the 22-year old me in the future, It will take a long time before you get to read this letter from the 17-year old you. You’ll probably see this exactly 5 years from now, since you’ve formed a habit of checking your Gmail account every day. To be honest, I don’t really know how I’ll compose this letter in a concise way; my thoughts are all over the place right now. I just really hope that you’re doing great wherever you are right now. You see, I’m currently struggling to find the momentum to start practicing on things that I’ll probably encounter because it feels like I won’t be able to learn the things I need within about six months. But I’ll do what I can so that you won’t have a hard time adjusting in a few years and so you could work on your pieces with ease. And because I promised someone that I’ll do my best to be better in what I love to do. It’s not going to be easy, because I won’t be enjoying it all the time. That’s one thing I learned, that sometimes while we try to dive deeper into our passions, we will find ourselves stuck in the same level, in confusing loop. And yet, we’ll have to be brave and face the unexplored, because most of the time, we’re just afraid of what’s beyond, we’re afraid of trying something unfamiliar. You know very well why I’m doing all this, right? I know how much you really want to succeed, so you can do what you love without people stopping you because you’re “not allowed” to do so. So you can be yourself without being scared of what your parents would say because you’ve finally got to prove something. You really hated how they’ll tell you that whenever you do or say something out of the ordinary. If you succeed, then you’ll be able to express yourself, contrary to how restricted you are inside our house. And after all the reasons I could say about myself, you know that I’m also doing this for someone. You wanted to make him proud, right? After everything: the times where you made mistakes, misunderstandings, challenges, postponed meet ups, and busy schedules, he stayed with you. And the both of you are happy; you always made it out of tight situations together. You really love him, don’t you? I hope you were able to graduate in collage with Latin honors, just like you wanted, and made him proud. I hope that you found different job opportunities through-out your college life so you can be filthy rich, if not, then just the right amount of salary to give you a good life, provide your needs, and wants. And I really hope that you and Wesley are still together. After all, you both want to be together until the end. So you can both achieve your dreams together, live up to each other’s words, travel the world, and live happily together. Have you seen your smile whenever you’re with him? It’s the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen and made so far. The world can be quite tiring, but I’m really glad you found your home. I seriously hope you’re happy right now. You deserve it, after all the nights you spent crying over the future, torn in believing or doubting yourself, and the fear of losing the things and people close to your heart. You’re so strong; I’m rooting for you always. Please, always remember that you’re a wonderful person. I haven’t told myself that enough, so you deserve to hear it from yourself in the past; someone who once hated everything about herself. You deserve all the happiness you are getting right now. You have always done your best. Live happily and full of love. Say “I love you so much” to Wesley for me. Sincerely, Kaela