A letter from April 4th, 2021

Dear Future Alien12, Did you finish highschool yet? What college do you feel you wanna apply to? Is she still there with you? I really hope she still is. I hate you so ******* much and honestly I feel like I wouldn’t even be alive at your age old mf but I guess you’re here now. You happy? Do you still plan on moving in with your best friend since 11 yrs old? I sure hope you do but let’s see where life takes us shall we? So any new pog obsessions? Do you still like harry potter and/or anime? Do you still dream to be a successful author or are you suddenly realistic? Have you found out the dreamsmp lore ending or is it still going? Remember when I said I hate you, I do but there are some things you should honestly love about yourself <3. For example, I love your creativity, it makes me so happy to write stories about June or Daisy, remember them? I also love how you look like you **** people but I know you’re a huge softie like toughen up hun. Do you still hate yourself? Cuz rn I do. Have you got diagnosed with any mental illnesses- probably not, you’re way too ***** to ask your parents to get you to the doctor. Are you finally loved? And I don’t mean platonic love idiot, and on that note did you give away your v-card yet? Answer honestly cuz I don’t feel like hearing your ********. I want you to be happy, feel loved, have a nice life with a cat. But maybe you’re not feeling that way, that’s ok. Remember that song you wrote? “Sometimes it’s ok to cry”, take your own advice stupid ***. How’s mother and father dearest? Is gramps and grandma still alive? Gow about your brothers? Any luck in taming them to be at least a little nice to you? You might hate them but y’know they’re okay sometimes. Im not even gonna ask about your grades- I know you still have useless expectations for yourself like JFC. Is Elish still calling you? Are you guys still the best of friends? Are you guys still simping over finctional men? You’re legal now I think- Or maybe in a couple months you’re gonna be legal. Is Elish still willing to be your platonic wife? Is she going to apply to the same college as you? How about Calle? Did you fix your friendship with her or are you still too scared to fix it bc you think she doesn’t want to talk to you? Also happy late birthday cuz I know you won’t read this on your actual birthday you absolute *****. Did you get a new phone? Or are you still with the phone I left you this message in? Do you have a cat? Maybe a cactus? OR you actually got the guts to ask your parents for a nose piercing or dyed hair or even TATOOS? Did you finish “And They Were Platonic Soulmates” yet? I bet you didn’t lmao. Are you still reading fanfics? You probably are- how about Covid-19? Is that ****** virus still there? Y’know what? Imma ask nice questions now. What’s your new favorite movie? How about your favorite book and/or fanfiction? Do you have a clear phone case now? If you do, is the pgone case filled with fictional characters or actual photos of you and your friends? Favorite color? I’m asking way too many questions, I’ll give you some advice that you should probably take. Don’t feel bad because you’re ignoring your friends’ text because you know you have problems with commitment to relationships, you’re trying your absolute best! It’s ok to crack under pressure, it’s a completely normal response so don’t be upset with yourself if you do that. If you want to cry then just do it, anyone who tells you otherwise should go die in a ditch, you know your feelings more than anything/anyone meaning you can cry if you feel the need to cry. Take time to do self care, watch a movie, go and relax, whatever makes you happy go do it. You hate yourself, you think you’re never going to be good enough, you feel trapped in a harsh reality and the key seems to be missing. You should learn to love yourself, you are good enough, you ARE in a harsh reality but I know that once you accept this life and find ways to make it more enjoyable then eventually that cage seems to disappear and the key just seems like another speck of dust on the ground. Thinking about the future might sound absolutely terrifying but when you see it at another perspective then it might feel a little more hopeful. Whatever you do should be what makes you happy, don’t do anything that makes you feel less of who you are because to be very honest you’re actually awesome, and if anyone invalidates that then throw that ***** out of your life. If you need any coping mechanisms to help you with how sad you can be somedays then try hugging your pillow really hard, draw something, write some cute oneshots and/or headcanons. I don’t know if you’re in a worse situation in your life but just know that your friends and (sometimes) your family are there for you. Is your saved money gonna be helpful in your life? You might have to use it for an apartment or maybe the college fee. Don’t burnout yourself, I know you want to work bc you feel like you’re just lazing around if you don’t but take some time to yourself, you matter much more then just a bunch of expectations. IF you ever doubt yourself, SLAP. YOUR. FACE. REALLY. HARD. You deserve everything good given to you, EVERYTHING! SMILE, LAUGH, CRY, BE ANGRY, BE CURIOUS, LIVE YOUR ******* LIFE- All these things make you human. All your flaws, insecurites, pet peeves, and emotion makes you, well, YOU! DONT GIVE THE **** UP! DO YOUR ******* BEST IN ANYTHING YOU LOVE! You might be bad at a few things but everyone has imperfections, THAT’S WHY you should cherish anything you love, whether it was writing or drawing KEEP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE AND LIVE THE LIFE YOU ******* WANT NOT HOW OTHERS WANT YOU TO. Grow some balls and get yourself a partner, you lonely ************ :D Your favorite *****, Past Alien12 I love you Kayla, and I hope you love yourself too ;)