A letter from April 2nd, 2021

Dear 23 year old Ian, Whats up **** how you feeling? Right now anxiety is a big problem for us. I hope you get over that dumbass. I'm worried about what the future will be for us. Will I be alone, will I still have the same friends and worse. Will I be like my brother and sister. I swear bro If you turn out to be like them I will **** you. I'm also worried about how hard things will be and I'm gonna have my own responsibilities and all that. I hope you get taller and bigger and with people you can call family. Right now our friend group we can call a group is the Cuzzos. Its kinda gross but if my cousins see this my rep is ruined. But when you hang out with your cousins your feelings of self dread are gone. Hope that doesn’t change for you lol. Our feelings of “home” is usually where we felt the most comfortable. Usually its our bed. If we are still in that stupid *** bed I will **** you. I swear bro pls move. One of our hobbies we have is playing video games and skating. I know you will still be good at video games you loser. We are so good at Overwatch, Apex, COD, and Valorant. Those games will probably die out by then but just remember how fire we were. And skating. I promised myself I would get better at skating but now I just usually cruise. I kinda gave up, kinda weird but I hope I get back into it like I did last year. When I skate I sometimes go into a trance of relaxation and just forget what's around me. Sounds corny but its the best feeling. You’d know. Who’s impacted us the most? We never really had celebrity role models huh? It was always those around us who impacted us. Our Dad was one of those. That mf was so stubborn that he did everything himself. He’s the hardest worker we know. Sometimes we forget that… so don't. I don't get how our family is so lazy, I think it's from our mom lmfao. Also our cousins are our biggest role models for sure. Everyone one of them always taught you something no matter how small it stuck with you. Taught how to view the world, how to express yourself, how to be me. Everytime we see people and they don't have cousins like ours we’d always feel bad for them lmao we are so evil. Evil twin evil twin. Also someone I always strive to be is my cousin Jade. Oh my god she is so stupid but its that, that makes her the biggest bag chaser and healthiest person mentally. She just doesn’t care about things that would usually slow someone down. Usually I wish I could be like her minus the stupidity. My future. Right now I'm 17 about to turn 18. My biggest fear is the future. I don't know what I will become. I think that's why. But I know the saying “focus on the present” and all that corny stuff. I know it but I can't feel it. If it makes sense. The main reason why I'm probably afraid is because I don't want to end up like other people. Which is very selfish but it's just me and we can’t change it. Ig its good we know it's bad. But being fr. I hope you are more confident, and stop being doubtful of yourself. Being self critical and comparing ourselves to others is so draining. Don't listen to others who think they care but it's all for themselves. You know who. In the future I just want to be happy. I hope you are. I don’t really care what I do, where I go. Its just at the end I want to be happy. I wish you would be that rn. Or crying like a ***** cus we sensitive like that. Sincerly, Ian. also Chase better be alive or i will **** you. also sorry this is really short. But dont blame yourself. Actually no do it because we are really lazy. Ily :) <3