A letter from March 30th, 2021

I hope when i'm older i will go for walks everyday, I hope i'll live somewhere scenic with a nice view and clear air, I hope i will fall in love, Maybe not for long or forever, Just long enough to know i can love. I want to own a cat, I want to DIY my own kitchen and paint the walls clean colours, I want to own fluffy blankets and rugs, I want to learn how to make warm food, Warm food which can heal all wounds, So when i curl up in my blankets i won't feel so cold. I will find something to care about, I will read more, I will share more, I will help more, I will be more. People need me to be more, More in all the ways i don't know how to be. I need to find my own meaning, I need to find my own place, I need to find my own happiness. I don't think I'm happy right now - just distracted. Filling the hours with meaningless tasks. That's a lie, They matter to me. It all matters too much.