A letter from March 24th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Howdy from Year 2 of the Pandemic. I hope you (and everyone else) has recovered from the societal malaise (both physical and physiological) that's both literally and metaphorically plagued us for so long. I am currently obsessed with climbing everything I find in Kelowna, and knitting up a storm. I hope you are still creating things, making awesome stuff with the internet, and have continued to progress at climbing. Current me thinks that climbing (mountaineering, and other crazy outdoor pursuits) will be a huge part of our life, and I hope that's true. Aiyla has become an amazing friend and climbing partner for me. I hope we're still hanging out with her. I hope you and me are still planning wild and crazy adventures. I hope your soul is still on fire when you think about the impossible things you have to prep for and try. How are the animals? Harold is currently a wild teenager kitten. Emrys is a crotchety old man who seems to enjoy Harold's company. Elphie sleeps a lot and I love her still. Is John still in the picture? Right now it's hard to tell if he's going to be around in 5 years. He's wonderful but we're having less and less in common as time goes on. If he's still around, remember to love him. He deserves a lot of love. Are you having *** yet (with John or anyone else)? How is the ****** assault recovery? It's been such a tough year for that. I hope you've rediscovered this part of your life. It's hard **** and you shouldn't feel bad if it takes a long time to come back to "normal", or if it's never normal again. Past me is here for you. How's the BPD? I hope you've gone back to therapy after our current break, practiced more DBT, and are continuing to work with your gnarly brain. This is one of the most important things you will do for yourself. Please don't give up, even if the struggle lasts your whole life. Where are you living? It's hard to tell where we're going to be living in 5 years, too. Kelowna is amazing, and a big part of me hopes we're still here. These last 6 months have been some of the most fulfilling of my life, even though John's hated it. Many of these days have shone so brightly, and I feel glad and grateful I've gotten to experience moments and days of such sweetness in a time that's been utter **** for so many. How's Kathleen? Has she figured out what's going on with her kidneys? I hope she's better, that she's found some closure, and that if she's needed a kidney you've been up to the challenge of passing her one of yours (I'm sure you would be. Current me would be happy to share). All my love to Mom and Dad, who have to deal with such a wild, rebellious child (me), and another kid that's constantly sick (Kathleen). It's a wonder they ever get a good night sleep (maybe they don't). Call Mom, it's probably been too long and she's wondering how you're doing. And, don't worry about getting older. I know you think about **** like this and panic, and worry about becoming unbeatiful and irrelevant and dying someday. Current me is much better than we were 5 years ago, and with any luck (ok, maybe a bit of luck) we'll be better in 5 years than we are now. Remember that it'll be ok. So many of the things we were worrying about 5 years ago have healed (not without a lot work, but have healed all the same). Remember that it'll be ok. Stay stoked. Never stop exploring. Stay awkward, brave and kind. I love you, kid. Signed, PastMe