A letter from March 21st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, As i write this letter, my husband is very tired and a bit painful (2 on a scale of 10). He was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreas cancer on 18 March 2021. Of course we're very devastated. I'm washing my face with tears everyday, but didn't let him know. But one night in bed he heard me crying. Backtrack - i heard him sob on 16th March when he was at the centre to do PET & CT scan, and he phoned me, he said he's unhappy and then he hung up. Anyways, long story short, we met with 2 specialists and 2 GPs. He's gonna unblock bile duct first, then see oncologist for next step. Pancreas cancer is very tricky to detect. When detected, it had already spread to other organs, hence called Stage IV, and can't do surgery to remove. The first step is chemotherapy. We dare not even ask how long is expected life span. But meanwhile, we try to keep positive and optimistic. And he needs to build energy to fight this. Of course we're sad. He might not live long enough to see my young one graduate, not to mention seeing his children get married and have grand-kids. But we pray to God and keep our fingers crossed. Wonder what it's like one year from now? will he still be here? What am i gonna do? I doubt he'll be around 5 years from now, not to mention 10. i feel so sad, i had wanted to travel the world with him after i retire ... :( :'( 😢😢😢